I've been thinking a lot lately of New Year's and the many resolutions that are made and broken, often within a week of making them. Why is it that many of us make the same resolutions every New Year's but seldom keep them? Could it be because we're setting unrealistic goals for ourselves that we can't possibly achieve? This type of goal setting only serves to discourage us from striving for future goals. Instead of planning for success, we're setting ourselves up for failure. When making a resolution or setting a goal, you should follow the S.M.A.R.T. system for maximum success: -Specific-Measurable-Attainable-Realistic-Timely Here are some common BAD New Year's resolutions along with tips about how to turn them around into GOOD resolutions that can bring you astounding results: 1. Losing weight. How many of us make the resolution to "get in shape" or to simply "lose weight?" This isn't a specific goal, nor does it contain any sort of measurable timeline in which to perform the task. -A better solution would be to say, "I want to lose _____ pounds by _____ (date). I will do this by following these steps: (change of diet, exercise plan, etc.)." -A specific goal establishes what you want to accomplish, by what time, identifies requirements and constraints, and lists benefits of reaching that goal. 2. Spending more time with family. Another common New Year's resolution is to spend more time with family and friends. Again, you need to have a plan to do this. Simply stating that you will spend more time with your family won't make it happen. This may not even be a very attainable goal if you live far away from your family or can't give up time at the office. -Look at your schedule, evaluate your priorities, and make the necessary changes to free up the time you'll need to spend the extra hours with your family. -Establish exactly how many extra hours you need to make this happen. What will have to be rearranged? These are decisions you need to make to accomplish your goal. 3. Quitting smoking. The average smoker tries to quit at least 4 times before he actually kicks the habit. Why? Because it's easy to get discouraged when you try one method and it doesn't work. You need to have numerous back-up plans because one product or method doesn’t work for everyone. -Make sure the goals you set are realistic. Don't expect to stop smoking in a week or maybe even a month. You'll only become disheartened if you fail. -Set reasonable goals such as, "By ___ (date) I will only smoke ____ cigarettes a day." Slowly become less dependent on them until you reach your goal. 4. Getting out of debt. This is a resolution that requires much planning and usually involves a change of lifestyle. If you're living in a cycle of debt, you need to plan a strategy to cut your spending dramatically, as well as pay off the debt you already have. -Set specific goals such as "I will have ____ (amount) paid off by _____ (date). I will do this by cutting ____ (amount) from my spending each week." Without a reasonable timeline in place, you'll slip back into your old habits. -If your total amount of debt is large, break the debt down into smaller, more attainable goals. Pay off one credit card at a time and take pride when you get that final statement with a zero balance. Also consider talking to a financial advisor who can help you set a reasonable plan for you to follow. Resolutions take work, there's no denying it! Simply saying that you resolve to do something is not sufficient without having a plan in place to do it. Now that you know the problem, you can stop making the same resolutions year after year! Using the S.M.A.R.T. system as a guide, you can actually attain your goals in the coming year and become a better person for it. We will all succeed
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Thursday, October 23, 2008
INNER ENEMIES OF PROGRESS
What are they?
Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. They may be conscious or unconscious. They may be founded or unfounded eg:
I am fat so no one will marry me, or
I am not lucky; I won’t get the job.
That you are fat may well be true. That no one will marry you as a result definitely isn’t. Some people prefer fat partners, and it’s the person inside that really matters. And luck isn’t the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on merit.
Limitations are actually a thing of the mind. In reality we have none. You can do anything if you make up your mind to do it. Determination always finds a way around obstacles. Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can…. or if you think you can’t…you’re right!” It all depends on what you believe about yourself.
How do they work?
Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world. They determine our actions or inactions. Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Behaviour produces results (or the lack of them). It all begins with our thoughts, since we have to accept a thought for it to become a belief.
It’s been said that whatever you believe becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe. For this reason, two people facing the same situation may interpret it differently, act according to their different beliefs and experience different outcomes.
Self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on our progress. They leave us acting forward, but believing backward. They have been described as a malicious thermostat; you can take all the action you want, and in the right direction too. But anytime you make progress, the thermostat pulls you back to conform to your inner negative programming.
Attempting to move forward when you have backward programming is like expecting a photocopy to be different from the original. You’ve got to work on the original copy first, change the blue print, modify the DNA.
Your thoughts and beliefs are your programming. You cannot move beyond them. To get out of the vicious cycle of acting forward but believing backward you’ve got to identify these malicious thermostats, and eliminate them, consciously and continuously. Sometimes it’s a lifelong battle, but one that you can win each time.
What can I do about them?
Fortunately, you can get rid of self-limiting beliefs. But first you have to identify them. They could be lurking in the recesses of our minds without our awareness. Talking with a friend or consulting with a coach could give you more objective feedback as to their existence.
Once you have identified them, these limiting beliefs must be challenged every time they rear their heads. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. There is nothing you cannot do. You simply need to find the way and follow it to conclusion.
When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die. Whatever you give attention to magnifies: whatever you do not attend to shrivels up and dies. Jim Rohn says it aptly: “You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate.”
No one is better than you are. If others do better, it is simply because they have had more practise, more experience, and/or they know something that you don’t. And all this can be remedied. God made us equal. It’s what we build upon His initial investment that makes the difference.
Read what the experts have said about our beliefs:
• Belief always precedes action. -James Allen(We won’t even attempt something unless we first believe we can accomplish it. No belief, no action, i.e. procrastination.)
• Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs. -Maxwell Maltz
• Once your thoughts reflect what you genuinely want to be, the appropriate emotions and the consequent behaviour will flow automatically. Believe it and you will see it. -Wayne Dyer
In a nut shell, you must control the thoughts that play around in your mind. Admit and nurture only those that enhance your positive programming and move you to your goals.
Possible sources
Limiting beliefs could come from the things people said to us and about us while we grew up. Now is the time to devastate these weeds. They could also come from listening to negative people, watching/listening to negative TV and radio programs, reading negative books and magazines, and repeatedly hearing negative song lyrics. Always be on the look-out for possible sources, not fearfully, but with the view to detect and devastate them.
A proactive approach
A better way to deal with self-limiting thoughts is to prevent them in the first place. Examining the list of sources above will give you an idea of where their opposites (self-empowering beliefs) can be found – in the opposite directions! If you spend time with wholesome people and material, this will build healthy, wholesome thought patterns. A mind that is girded with strong, empowering thoughts is in fit enough condition to resist invasion by these malicious, illegal aliens.
Invest in inspirational books, seminars, CDs etc. Engage in positive self-talk or affirmations. And just in case self-limiting thoughts slip through unnoticed, perform periodic “mind-sanitation exercises” where you do some self-evaluation. Sometimes a seminar attendance or listening to an audio program is what will alert you of this incursion.
I wish you all the best as you build a strong and healthy mind. Go forward and do all the things you thought you could not do, because now you know that you can. Can I hear an “Amen” somebody?!
Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. They may be conscious or unconscious. They may be founded or unfounded eg:
I am fat so no one will marry me, or
I am not lucky; I won’t get the job.
That you are fat may well be true. That no one will marry you as a result definitely isn’t. Some people prefer fat partners, and it’s the person inside that really matters. And luck isn’t the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on merit.
Limitations are actually a thing of the mind. In reality we have none. You can do anything if you make up your mind to do it. Determination always finds a way around obstacles. Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can…. or if you think you can’t…you’re right!” It all depends on what you believe about yourself.
How do they work?
Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world. They determine our actions or inactions. Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Behaviour produces results (or the lack of them). It all begins with our thoughts, since we have to accept a thought for it to become a belief.
It’s been said that whatever you believe becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe. For this reason, two people facing the same situation may interpret it differently, act according to their different beliefs and experience different outcomes.
Self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on our progress. They leave us acting forward, but believing backward. They have been described as a malicious thermostat; you can take all the action you want, and in the right direction too. But anytime you make progress, the thermostat pulls you back to conform to your inner negative programming.
Attempting to move forward when you have backward programming is like expecting a photocopy to be different from the original. You’ve got to work on the original copy first, change the blue print, modify the DNA.
Your thoughts and beliefs are your programming. You cannot move beyond them. To get out of the vicious cycle of acting forward but believing backward you’ve got to identify these malicious thermostats, and eliminate them, consciously and continuously. Sometimes it’s a lifelong battle, but one that you can win each time.
What can I do about them?
Fortunately, you can get rid of self-limiting beliefs. But first you have to identify them. They could be lurking in the recesses of our minds without our awareness. Talking with a friend or consulting with a coach could give you more objective feedback as to their existence.
Once you have identified them, these limiting beliefs must be challenged every time they rear their heads. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. There is nothing you cannot do. You simply need to find the way and follow it to conclusion.
When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die. Whatever you give attention to magnifies: whatever you do not attend to shrivels up and dies. Jim Rohn says it aptly: “You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate.”
No one is better than you are. If others do better, it is simply because they have had more practise, more experience, and/or they know something that you don’t. And all this can be remedied. God made us equal. It’s what we build upon His initial investment that makes the difference.
Read what the experts have said about our beliefs:
• Belief always precedes action. -James Allen(We won’t even attempt something unless we first believe we can accomplish it. No belief, no action, i.e. procrastination.)
• Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs. -Maxwell Maltz
• Once your thoughts reflect what you genuinely want to be, the appropriate emotions and the consequent behaviour will flow automatically. Believe it and you will see it. -Wayne Dyer
In a nut shell, you must control the thoughts that play around in your mind. Admit and nurture only those that enhance your positive programming and move you to your goals.
Possible sources
Limiting beliefs could come from the things people said to us and about us while we grew up. Now is the time to devastate these weeds. They could also come from listening to negative people, watching/listening to negative TV and radio programs, reading negative books and magazines, and repeatedly hearing negative song lyrics. Always be on the look-out for possible sources, not fearfully, but with the view to detect and devastate them.
A proactive approach
A better way to deal with self-limiting thoughts is to prevent them in the first place. Examining the list of sources above will give you an idea of where their opposites (self-empowering beliefs) can be found – in the opposite directions! If you spend time with wholesome people and material, this will build healthy, wholesome thought patterns. A mind that is girded with strong, empowering thoughts is in fit enough condition to resist invasion by these malicious, illegal aliens.
Invest in inspirational books, seminars, CDs etc. Engage in positive self-talk or affirmations. And just in case self-limiting thoughts slip through unnoticed, perform periodic “mind-sanitation exercises” where you do some self-evaluation. Sometimes a seminar attendance or listening to an audio program is what will alert you of this incursion.
I wish you all the best as you build a strong and healthy mind. Go forward and do all the things you thought you could not do, because now you know that you can. Can I hear an “Amen” somebody?!
Monday, August 11, 2008
HOW TO STOP WORRYING
Most people spend far too much time worrying about things that may never happen. If you find yourself doing this you are wasting energy. Here is a simple way to control worry instead of letting it control you.
What is worry? By definition, it is "to feel disturbed or depressed through fear regarding some event or outcome". In other words, you fear that a certain thing will happen in the future.
When you worry about something you are bringing one possible future into your mind and living it as if it was the present. It is exactly that, one POSSIBLE future, but there are many others that you can choose from.
Many success books and programs suggest that you shift your mental focus to the more enjoyable possibilities. When that worrisome thought enters your mind you are to think of a better future outcome instead.
One way to do this is by relaxing your body and mind and visualizing the best possible scenario instead of the worst. But this is not always easy for some people to do. There is an easier way that you may not have considered before.
A Simple Way to Stop Worrying
The first thing to remember is that you will usually worry about something at ANY time and part of the solution is to control the time when you worry. Decide upon a specific time when you will worry and stick to this schedule.
Select a certain time each day such as 8:15 PM to worry about anything and everything that could go wrong. This may sound silly but it is no more so than the worrying you are experiencing.
Next, whenever a worrisome thought enters your mind at any other time, tell yourself that it is not time to worry and that you will do it at the scheduled time. In this way you are not telling yourself to stop worrying but only that you will do it later because you don't have the time right now.
Once that time arrives, say 8:15 PM, tell yourself that is NOW time to worry about anything you want. One of two things will then happen to you.
You will either think that this is ridiculous and may not even remember what it is that you had to worry about. If so then have a good laugh and repeat this exercise each day until you realize that worrying is a waste of your time and energy.
The second thing that may happen to you is that worries WILL actually enter your mind at the scheduled time. If this happens you should embrace them and not try to shut them out. If you try to deny them then they will only return at another time.
Also, instead of accepting the worry as you feel it, try to exaggerate it as much as possible. In other words make it even worse, even horrible to the point where you realize that such an outcome would be impossible.
As an example, suppose you had a credit card bill that you couldn't easily pay and the fear or worry of what would happen kept entering your mind. First you would tell yourself that you would worry about it later at 8:15 PM. Second, once that time came and it entered your mind again you would imagine a far worse outcome.
Imagine that the bill was never paid, the VISA or MASTERCARD police came and arrested you and you went to prison where you were immediately sentenced to death by being buried alive or by slow torture. Impossible? Of course but your worries are most likely to be just as unlikely.
Again, when this happens you will probably start to laugh at why you were worried about it in the first place. If you keep doing this your worries will vanish because your mind will think that it's no use to bother you with them any longer.
Another thing that you can do to remind you about when it's time to worry is to draw a large letter W or print the one below. Post it somewhere you can always see it and look at it to remind yourself when it's time to worry or not.
Worrying will not help you find success and you can turn it around if you desire to by following these simple techniques. You can even enjoy a good laugh by doing it. Remember what Alfred E. Newman from MAD Magazine used to say:
What Me Worry?
What is worry? By definition, it is "to feel disturbed or depressed through fear regarding some event or outcome". In other words, you fear that a certain thing will happen in the future.
When you worry about something you are bringing one possible future into your mind and living it as if it was the present. It is exactly that, one POSSIBLE future, but there are many others that you can choose from.
Many success books and programs suggest that you shift your mental focus to the more enjoyable possibilities. When that worrisome thought enters your mind you are to think of a better future outcome instead.
One way to do this is by relaxing your body and mind and visualizing the best possible scenario instead of the worst. But this is not always easy for some people to do. There is an easier way that you may not have considered before.
A Simple Way to Stop Worrying
The first thing to remember is that you will usually worry about something at ANY time and part of the solution is to control the time when you worry. Decide upon a specific time when you will worry and stick to this schedule.
Select a certain time each day such as 8:15 PM to worry about anything and everything that could go wrong. This may sound silly but it is no more so than the worrying you are experiencing.
Next, whenever a worrisome thought enters your mind at any other time, tell yourself that it is not time to worry and that you will do it at the scheduled time. In this way you are not telling yourself to stop worrying but only that you will do it later because you don't have the time right now.
Once that time arrives, say 8:15 PM, tell yourself that is NOW time to worry about anything you want. One of two things will then happen to you.
You will either think that this is ridiculous and may not even remember what it is that you had to worry about. If so then have a good laugh and repeat this exercise each day until you realize that worrying is a waste of your time and energy.
The second thing that may happen to you is that worries WILL actually enter your mind at the scheduled time. If this happens you should embrace them and not try to shut them out. If you try to deny them then they will only return at another time.
Also, instead of accepting the worry as you feel it, try to exaggerate it as much as possible. In other words make it even worse, even horrible to the point where you realize that such an outcome would be impossible.
As an example, suppose you had a credit card bill that you couldn't easily pay and the fear or worry of what would happen kept entering your mind. First you would tell yourself that you would worry about it later at 8:15 PM. Second, once that time came and it entered your mind again you would imagine a far worse outcome.
Imagine that the bill was never paid, the VISA or MASTERCARD police came and arrested you and you went to prison where you were immediately sentenced to death by being buried alive or by slow torture. Impossible? Of course but your worries are most likely to be just as unlikely.
Again, when this happens you will probably start to laugh at why you were worried about it in the first place. If you keep doing this your worries will vanish because your mind will think that it's no use to bother you with them any longer.
Another thing that you can do to remind you about when it's time to worry is to draw a large letter W or print the one below. Post it somewhere you can always see it and look at it to remind yourself when it's time to worry or not.
Worrying will not help you find success and you can turn it around if you desire to by following these simple techniques. You can even enjoy a good laugh by doing it. Remember what Alfred E. Newman from MAD Magazine used to say:
What Me Worry?
Monday, July 7, 2008
10 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE
There are just a few aspects of life that we can truly control, and it's useful to know just what those areas are. If you don't know, you'll spend a lot of time blaming others for your own failings. Try and exert too much control in areas you shouldn't and the universe will create some interesting ways to remind of your place.
So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:
*What you do
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.
*What you say
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.
*What you think
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.
*Your work
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.
Who you associate with
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
*Your health
Much of our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, excercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
*The environment you live in
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).
*Your finances
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.
*Your time
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.
*Your legacy
All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.
____
So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:
*What you do
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.
*What you say
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.
*What you think
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.
*Your work
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.
Who you associate with
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
*Your health
Much of our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, excercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
*The environment you live in
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).
*Your finances
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.
*Your time
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.
*Your legacy
All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.
____
Thursday, July 3, 2008
10 KEY ATTRIBUTES OF SUPER ACHIEVERS
World Champion Olympic and professional athletes walk the talk. They don't just talk one way and act another. They talk the talk and walk the walk of excellence, achievement and peak performance. They have congruence. Their behavior matches who they are as championship people. This congruency allows them to operate closer to their potential more of the time.What can we learn from these superstars? We can learn and adopt the qualities of top-performing athletes by examining how they are in the competitive arena. These peak performers have these qualities:1. They Walk the Talk. Performers who just talk a good game are a dime a dozen. Those who trash-talk are not able to let their performance do the talking. They need to cover up a weak game. Champions can be quietly dynamic, secure in the belief that they are true champions. They talk about what they do because they can live it.2. The Ability to Make Comebacks. Champions make comebacks after every error they make. There has never been an athlete who played an error-free game. They make comebacks after a poor performance, after a slump, after an injury, after any setback. They will not be denied in their march to success.3. The Ability to Control the Clock. Champion performers know how to control momentum. They know how to help themselves by controlling time during performances so they feel in control. They set and dictate the tempo of a contest.4. Self-Reflective Time. Champions make time to review all their performances and training systems. They consider this time sacred because it is here that they make adjustments and practice continuous improvement. They need quiet time to learn more about themselves as people and how this impacts their performances.5. The Drive to Improve. Champions are often not satisfied fully with most performances. Something could have been better or gone more smoothly. They accept the limitations of the day during a performance and get on with the job, but realize that to improve, they must maintain a critical eye toward flaws and imperfections. They do this without damaging their self-esteem and confidence.6. They are Resistance-Oriented. Winners resist losing. They resist giving in to pain, fatigue, boredom, trouble, bothersome opponents, and all else that stands in their way of success. When trouble appears, they resist it. They never give in.7. They Have Competitive Spirit. Champions view competition as challenging, exciting, a test, fun, and allow the spirit of the battle to raise their game to the next level. They approach competition with gusto, a positive outlook and see it as an adventure.8. They Embrace Win-Win Teamwork. Champions know how to be great team players and how to make everyone involved be winners in business and life. In sport, they often even view opposing players as partners in co-creating the competition that will take both to higher levels of performance.9. They Take Responsibility. Champions are independent-minded. They admit when something is their fault and resolve it. They don't blame others. They take credit for their success and praise others for theirs. They create their success teams, yet realize that the ultimate responsibility for their lives resides within them.10. They Play With Integrity. Champions compete with honesty, fair-mindedness, and concern for their fellow competitors, team-mates, coaches and spectators. They stand for the highest ideals of sportsmanship and integrity at all times. They pride themselves on being good people as well as good athletes.Sport is one of the last bastions of performance accountability and effort-to-outcome arenas left in the world. It is a put-up-or-shut-up environment. Either you can do it, or you can't. Just yapping about it isn't enough. You have to prove you can do it. You have to walk the talk.We can use our top athletes as models for how we'd like to be in our lives and careers. Take the very best qualities from the best athletes and you will become a champion in your arena also.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
DO YOU TRUST YOUR MENTORS
Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?
by Rasheed Ali
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
I was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust.
We were talking about individuals finding mentors and trusting their mentors enough to pay for their services or to teach them what they wanted (need) to know.
The question caught me off guard because the truth of the matter was I hadn't really given sufficient thought to what TRUST really was in the world of self improvement, personal development and finding mentors because I just trust people. Well, until they prove otherwise...
First of all a mentor is...
men·tor - A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
Second of all trust is...
trust - Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
With that cleared up...
After I got off the call I realized that I should have explained that every time I met a person that did not trust me, it was THEY and not me who were not trust worthy!
Now before you go and say, "Well that's a generalization Rasheed!" Let me explain this:
People who give trust, CAN be trusted. People who do not trust others are NOT trust worthy. It's that simple and I don't need some Forrester Research or Harvard to tell me that!
Think about the last time someone didn't trust you... Did they prove to be worthy of trust? I highly doubt it.
As with everything in our world Trust has two sides and both serve their purpose.
So how do you trust people? You just DO. It's all about your attitude and changing it to get what you want.
If you want to trust people, give it first or you'll be considered untrustworthy.
Everyone gets burned more than once in life but, the ones that succeed are those that get burned, learn and keep trusting the right people.
As for trusting mentors, do I need to give the definition again???
If they've reached a level of personal development and you want be there, then you should seek them out to teach you how to get there with ruthless efficiency.
Mentors serve three major purposes as a resource.
Intellectual Resource
Spiritual Resource
Financial Resource
After you've gotten over yourself or distrust, you decide what who you want and go get a mentor.
If you still don't trust people, then here's what you do...
Walk over to a mirror and take a long hard look. Then say to the person in the mirror, "Hey I hope you're happy because you and I are going to be where we are right now, for quite a while." ;-P
With learning to trust achieved however, you will break through obstacles and become more powerful every day.
"Self trust is the first secret of success." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
by Rasheed Ali
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
I was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust.
We were talking about individuals finding mentors and trusting their mentors enough to pay for their services or to teach them what they wanted (need) to know.
The question caught me off guard because the truth of the matter was I hadn't really given sufficient thought to what TRUST really was in the world of self improvement, personal development and finding mentors because I just trust people. Well, until they prove otherwise...
First of all a mentor is...
men·tor - A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
Second of all trust is...
trust - Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
With that cleared up...
After I got off the call I realized that I should have explained that every time I met a person that did not trust me, it was THEY and not me who were not trust worthy!
Now before you go and say, "Well that's a generalization Rasheed!" Let me explain this:
People who give trust, CAN be trusted. People who do not trust others are NOT trust worthy. It's that simple and I don't need some Forrester Research or Harvard to tell me that!
Think about the last time someone didn't trust you... Did they prove to be worthy of trust? I highly doubt it.
As with everything in our world Trust has two sides and both serve their purpose.
So how do you trust people? You just DO. It's all about your attitude and changing it to get what you want.
If you want to trust people, give it first or you'll be considered untrustworthy.
Everyone gets burned more than once in life but, the ones that succeed are those that get burned, learn and keep trusting the right people.
As for trusting mentors, do I need to give the definition again???
If they've reached a level of personal development and you want be there, then you should seek them out to teach you how to get there with ruthless efficiency.
Mentors serve three major purposes as a resource.
Intellectual Resource
Spiritual Resource
Financial Resource
After you've gotten over yourself or distrust, you decide what who you want and go get a mentor.
If you still don't trust people, then here's what you do...
Walk over to a mirror and take a long hard look. Then say to the person in the mirror, "Hey I hope you're happy because you and I are going to be where we are right now, for quite a while." ;-P
With learning to trust achieved however, you will break through obstacles and become more powerful every day.
"Self trust is the first secret of success." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, May 26, 2008
SUCCESS STORY OF THOMAS EDISON
Born on February 11, 1847 in Milan, Ohio to middle-class parents, Thomas "Al" Edison surprisingly did not speak until he was four years of age. But once he did begin to talk, he persistently asked anyone he could endless questions about how anything he encountered worked.
At an early age his mother recognized his insatiable appetite for knowledge and began to educate him at home. With this and his discovery of the public library, he began to learn as much as possible about the world and the things the make it run by reading every book he could.
He was a rare child in that his thirst for knowledge seemed to be inborn to him. He soon exceeded the ability of his parents to teach him and they hired tutors to assist him with concepts such as physics and mathematics.
In studying Sir Isaac Newton's works, Edison embraced and absorbed the principles, but was dissatisfied with the manner in which it was presented, concluding that even the greatest minds have certain attitudes that prevent them from properly seeing the errors of their ways.
This encouraged him to adopt his own philosophy of learning through observation and experimentation. His formal education was minimal at best, but this was never a problem for him since he used all available resources, his exceptionally keen mind and legendary powers of recall to more than compensate.
At the age of only twelve, he started his own business selling vegetables while being involved in several other ventures.
One of these was publishing and distributing campaign literature for Abraham Lincoln, for which he received more than a respectable amount of income. He used this money to set up a chemical laboratory in his parent's house, which they were not entirely pleased with.
Whether it was because of being struck on the side of the head by a train conductor or contracting scarlet fever at the age of fourteen, Edison's hearing ability was almost completely eliminated.
Although entirely deaf in one ear and having only partial ability in the other, he simply accepted it as another challenge and found other methods of learning what he needed to know.
When presented with an opportunity to undergo an operation to correct his hearing loss, he replied "I would have difficulty re-learning how to channel my thinking in a noisy world."
His only regret was that he was unable to hear the sound of birds singing their songs, but even in response to this he later built a bird sanctuary that became home to thousands of them.
At the age of sixteen he become a freelance telegraph operator which enabled him to observe and research the science behind it. As a result he developed his first true original invention called an "automatic repeater."
It transmitted telegraph signals between unmanned stations, allowing almost anyone to simply and accurately translate code at their own speed and convenience. Ironically, he never attempted to obtain a patent for this idea.
By the year 1868 he was well known for his exceptional ability with the telegraph but was penniless. It only made things worse when he returned home and found that his mother was on the verge of insanity, his father had quit his job and the bank was about to foreclose on the mortgage of their house.
He decided right then that he had to deal with his own difficulties and earn a substantial amount of money as soon as possible.
He became a telegrapher for Western Union and worked twelve hours a day, six days a week but still found time to pursue his own projects. He even managed to create and patent his first legitimate invention, an electronic voting machine.
Unfortunately, it was not accepted because it altered the political process that those in power found distressing. Although disappointed, he realized that he needed to focus only on things that people would be happy with and buy.
Through this experience he became enlightened with respect to sales and marketing that he had previously ignored.
After another painful experience involving other pioneers in the area of telegraphy, being deeply in debt and soon to be fired by Western Union for not properly focusing on his responsibilities, he borrowed $35.00 from a friend and purchased a ticket to New York.
After being there over two weeks, almost starving to death and with absolutely no money, an amazing incident took place.
While wandering around the financial district he witnessed the manager of a brokerage firm in panic because a stock-ticker had broken down. He proceeded to investigate the problem and found a quick solution, a loose spring, which made the manager extremely grateful for which he hired Edison on the spot at the lofty rate (for that time) of $300.00 per month.
Edison reflected later that this experience had delivered him from poverty into prosperity. Soon afterwards and by way of having invented the first telegraph transmitter capable of quadrupling its speed, a large corporation purchased the rights from him for $40,000.00. It was the first real money that he had ever received in his life and was even afraid that he would be unable to cash the cheque they had given him.
He was astonished that he had all this money but fortunately listened to a friend that told him to simply let it sit in the bank and forget about it for a while.
He soon later contacted his parents, provided them with all the money that they needed and even paid back the $35.00 debt that he had incurred to his friend.
At the age of 29, he was extremely close to inventing the telephone but was outdone by Alexander Graham Bell, who ironically was using a component that Edison had previously created. Although extremely disappointed, he surpassed everyone else by creating the first practical incandescent electric light bulb shortly afterwards.
This effort alone was an amazing breakthrough and relied on hundreds if not thousands of experiments in order to find the right type of filament that would not disintegrate prematurely.
He discovered that a tungsten based filament in a partial vacuum would be able to last sufficiently long to be of commercial use.
But even this was still not enough for him. He needed to create a way to generate and distribute electricity that was efficient and not costly.
Perhaps his greatest effort and contribution to humanity was the electrical generation plant and the method of distributing this power to consumers.
There is much more about Thomas Edison that you can read and by visiting the following sites:
A complete biography of Thomas Edison can be read at http://www.thomasedison.com/biog.htm
To review a summarized version of the inventions he created and the events associated with them during his life, visit http://www.thomasedison.com/Inventions.htm
A Success Review of Thomas Edison
With little or no doubt, he was an amazing individual who surpassed everyone's expectations and even his own at some points in his life.
Although he was gifted with intense desire from the start of his life and exceptional mental abilities, the failures and disappointment that he experienced were often extreme.
At times penniless, beyond hunger and having lost most of his hearing ability, he still stayed on his course. How was he able to continue?
Perhaps because there were many times when failure was not an option for him. The only way he could continue was to succeed, no matter what he or any one else believed.
When he did finally succeed, he found it incredibly difficult to believe that he had. After he finally cashed that $40,000.00 cheque (an incredible sum at that time), he did not even know what to do with it.
Here was a man that had already overcome incredible odds in realizing his goals but had difficulty accepting the results of his own success. Why was it so hard for him?
The important thing to remember is that Thomas Edison did not really seek fortune, but only enough money to continue to live. The wealth that he may have accumulated were a consequence of his desire to realize other goals.
The large number of patents awarded to him or any of his companies is a testimony to this. Even so, a large portion of the money received was reinvested in the research and creation of other ventures that would benefit all of mankind.
The wealth that he obtained was a result of his having achieved those goals. For him, money was at best only a secondary consideration.
One of the items necessary for success is a detailed list of goals. Did Thomas Edison have such a list?
Perhaps not only a written list of major things he needed or wanted to do, but also a mental list of each task necessary to accomplish each one.
Another requirement for success is a desire to succeed. Did Edison have this?
His life experiences illustrate this to be absolutely true in both a powerful yet painful way.
Did Edison have any internal belief conflicts about success?
He did have difficulty believing that success could be so financially rewarding and was unprepared for it.
Once he had broken through from poverty to prosperity his outlook changed and he was able to accept success in other ways unknown to him before.
His successes are almost without equal in history, but his knowledge of success was self-learned. He believed that without some failure there cannot be success and that consistency of effort was far more important.
This is clear by the statement he made regarding genius involving far more perspiration than inspiration. Although he may not have at first known about success itself, he later came to fully understand it.
The specific knowledge that he accumulated whether by reading, observation or experimenting was immense. He pursued such knowledge relentlessly at great cost, and was a pioneer who explored uncharted areas of science.
His used the trial and error method of succeeding with little regard to failure. To him, each failure was just one more way how not to achieve his desired goal.
Another success requirement, obtaining knowledge of success in certain chosen areas may have been very difficult for him to achieve, but he was still able to do so.
His ability to apply knowledge was obviously accomplished by him repeatedly and with incredible desire. The results of his efforts are clear to anyone using almost any form of technology.
Although Thomas Edison was successful in many ways, his journey to success was exceptionally difficult at best.
Could his journey have been made in any way somewhat easier? He had enough strength of desire for perhaps ten people and did not need any assistance in this area.
He knew what he wanted to accomplish in almost excessive detail and therefore did not require help to discover what he desired.
However, he did have some belief conflicts regarding success but was eventually able to resolve them. These could have been addressed much earlier had he known about them.
He also had to learn for himself about success itself and in this respect his journey could have been made somewhat less painful.
In addition, the specific knowledge he had to obtain was virtually unavailable anywhere else and he had to create much of it on his own by the painfully slow method of trial and error.
It is doubtful that he could have been assisted except by a very few peers that he could have collaborated with.
Your path to success can be far easier if you apply the principles, methods and techniques that are available to you. They will reduce both the time and effort you need in order to achieve the success that you seek.
If Mr. Edison could succeed despite all the obstacles he faced, do you not think that you can too?
He would probably even be pleased that in some small way, your success was partially because of something that he had said or done to inspire you.
Thank you, Thomas Edison for your enormous shoulders on which others can stand upon!
At an early age his mother recognized his insatiable appetite for knowledge and began to educate him at home. With this and his discovery of the public library, he began to learn as much as possible about the world and the things the make it run by reading every book he could.
He was a rare child in that his thirst for knowledge seemed to be inborn to him. He soon exceeded the ability of his parents to teach him and they hired tutors to assist him with concepts such as physics and mathematics.
In studying Sir Isaac Newton's works, Edison embraced and absorbed the principles, but was dissatisfied with the manner in which it was presented, concluding that even the greatest minds have certain attitudes that prevent them from properly seeing the errors of their ways.
This encouraged him to adopt his own philosophy of learning through observation and experimentation. His formal education was minimal at best, but this was never a problem for him since he used all available resources, his exceptionally keen mind and legendary powers of recall to more than compensate.
At the age of only twelve, he started his own business selling vegetables while being involved in several other ventures.
One of these was publishing and distributing campaign literature for Abraham Lincoln, for which he received more than a respectable amount of income. He used this money to set up a chemical laboratory in his parent's house, which they were not entirely pleased with.
Whether it was because of being struck on the side of the head by a train conductor or contracting scarlet fever at the age of fourteen, Edison's hearing ability was almost completely eliminated.
Although entirely deaf in one ear and having only partial ability in the other, he simply accepted it as another challenge and found other methods of learning what he needed to know.
When presented with an opportunity to undergo an operation to correct his hearing loss, he replied "I would have difficulty re-learning how to channel my thinking in a noisy world."
His only regret was that he was unable to hear the sound of birds singing their songs, but even in response to this he later built a bird sanctuary that became home to thousands of them.
At the age of sixteen he become a freelance telegraph operator which enabled him to observe and research the science behind it. As a result he developed his first true original invention called an "automatic repeater."
It transmitted telegraph signals between unmanned stations, allowing almost anyone to simply and accurately translate code at their own speed and convenience. Ironically, he never attempted to obtain a patent for this idea.
By the year 1868 he was well known for his exceptional ability with the telegraph but was penniless. It only made things worse when he returned home and found that his mother was on the verge of insanity, his father had quit his job and the bank was about to foreclose on the mortgage of their house.
He decided right then that he had to deal with his own difficulties and earn a substantial amount of money as soon as possible.
He became a telegrapher for Western Union and worked twelve hours a day, six days a week but still found time to pursue his own projects. He even managed to create and patent his first legitimate invention, an electronic voting machine.
Unfortunately, it was not accepted because it altered the political process that those in power found distressing. Although disappointed, he realized that he needed to focus only on things that people would be happy with and buy.
Through this experience he became enlightened with respect to sales and marketing that he had previously ignored.
After another painful experience involving other pioneers in the area of telegraphy, being deeply in debt and soon to be fired by Western Union for not properly focusing on his responsibilities, he borrowed $35.00 from a friend and purchased a ticket to New York.
After being there over two weeks, almost starving to death and with absolutely no money, an amazing incident took place.
While wandering around the financial district he witnessed the manager of a brokerage firm in panic because a stock-ticker had broken down. He proceeded to investigate the problem and found a quick solution, a loose spring, which made the manager extremely grateful for which he hired Edison on the spot at the lofty rate (for that time) of $300.00 per month.
Edison reflected later that this experience had delivered him from poverty into prosperity. Soon afterwards and by way of having invented the first telegraph transmitter capable of quadrupling its speed, a large corporation purchased the rights from him for $40,000.00. It was the first real money that he had ever received in his life and was even afraid that he would be unable to cash the cheque they had given him.
He was astonished that he had all this money but fortunately listened to a friend that told him to simply let it sit in the bank and forget about it for a while.
He soon later contacted his parents, provided them with all the money that they needed and even paid back the $35.00 debt that he had incurred to his friend.
At the age of 29, he was extremely close to inventing the telephone but was outdone by Alexander Graham Bell, who ironically was using a component that Edison had previously created. Although extremely disappointed, he surpassed everyone else by creating the first practical incandescent electric light bulb shortly afterwards.
This effort alone was an amazing breakthrough and relied on hundreds if not thousands of experiments in order to find the right type of filament that would not disintegrate prematurely.
He discovered that a tungsten based filament in a partial vacuum would be able to last sufficiently long to be of commercial use.
But even this was still not enough for him. He needed to create a way to generate and distribute electricity that was efficient and not costly.
Perhaps his greatest effort and contribution to humanity was the electrical generation plant and the method of distributing this power to consumers.
There is much more about Thomas Edison that you can read and by visiting the following sites:
A complete biography of Thomas Edison can be read at http://www.thomasedison.com/biog.htm
To review a summarized version of the inventions he created and the events associated with them during his life, visit http://www.thomasedison.com/Inventions.htm
A Success Review of Thomas Edison
With little or no doubt, he was an amazing individual who surpassed everyone's expectations and even his own at some points in his life.
Although he was gifted with intense desire from the start of his life and exceptional mental abilities, the failures and disappointment that he experienced were often extreme.
At times penniless, beyond hunger and having lost most of his hearing ability, he still stayed on his course. How was he able to continue?
Perhaps because there were many times when failure was not an option for him. The only way he could continue was to succeed, no matter what he or any one else believed.
When he did finally succeed, he found it incredibly difficult to believe that he had. After he finally cashed that $40,000.00 cheque (an incredible sum at that time), he did not even know what to do with it.
Here was a man that had already overcome incredible odds in realizing his goals but had difficulty accepting the results of his own success. Why was it so hard for him?
The important thing to remember is that Thomas Edison did not really seek fortune, but only enough money to continue to live. The wealth that he may have accumulated were a consequence of his desire to realize other goals.
The large number of patents awarded to him or any of his companies is a testimony to this. Even so, a large portion of the money received was reinvested in the research and creation of other ventures that would benefit all of mankind.
The wealth that he obtained was a result of his having achieved those goals. For him, money was at best only a secondary consideration.
One of the items necessary for success is a detailed list of goals. Did Thomas Edison have such a list?
Perhaps not only a written list of major things he needed or wanted to do, but also a mental list of each task necessary to accomplish each one.
Another requirement for success is a desire to succeed. Did Edison have this?
His life experiences illustrate this to be absolutely true in both a powerful yet painful way.
Did Edison have any internal belief conflicts about success?
He did have difficulty believing that success could be so financially rewarding and was unprepared for it.
Once he had broken through from poverty to prosperity his outlook changed and he was able to accept success in other ways unknown to him before.
His successes are almost without equal in history, but his knowledge of success was self-learned. He believed that without some failure there cannot be success and that consistency of effort was far more important.
This is clear by the statement he made regarding genius involving far more perspiration than inspiration. Although he may not have at first known about success itself, he later came to fully understand it.
The specific knowledge that he accumulated whether by reading, observation or experimenting was immense. He pursued such knowledge relentlessly at great cost, and was a pioneer who explored uncharted areas of science.
His used the trial and error method of succeeding with little regard to failure. To him, each failure was just one more way how not to achieve his desired goal.
Another success requirement, obtaining knowledge of success in certain chosen areas may have been very difficult for him to achieve, but he was still able to do so.
His ability to apply knowledge was obviously accomplished by him repeatedly and with incredible desire. The results of his efforts are clear to anyone using almost any form of technology.
Although Thomas Edison was successful in many ways, his journey to success was exceptionally difficult at best.
Could his journey have been made in any way somewhat easier? He had enough strength of desire for perhaps ten people and did not need any assistance in this area.
He knew what he wanted to accomplish in almost excessive detail and therefore did not require help to discover what he desired.
However, he did have some belief conflicts regarding success but was eventually able to resolve them. These could have been addressed much earlier had he known about them.
He also had to learn for himself about success itself and in this respect his journey could have been made somewhat less painful.
In addition, the specific knowledge he had to obtain was virtually unavailable anywhere else and he had to create much of it on his own by the painfully slow method of trial and error.
It is doubtful that he could have been assisted except by a very few peers that he could have collaborated with.
Your path to success can be far easier if you apply the principles, methods and techniques that are available to you. They will reduce both the time and effort you need in order to achieve the success that you seek.
If Mr. Edison could succeed despite all the obstacles he faced, do you not think that you can too?
He would probably even be pleased that in some small way, your success was partially because of something that he had said or done to inspire you.
Thank you, Thomas Edison for your enormous shoulders on which others can stand upon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)