What are they?
Self-limiting beliefs are those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. They may be conscious or unconscious. They may be founded or unfounded eg:
I am fat so no one will marry me, or
I am not lucky; I won’t get the job.
That you are fat may well be true. That no one will marry you as a result definitely isn’t. Some people prefer fat partners, and it’s the person inside that really matters. And luck isn’t the criterion for getting a job. You get jobs based on merit.
Limitations are actually a thing of the mind. In reality we have none. You can do anything if you make up your mind to do it. Determination always finds a way around obstacles. Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can…. or if you think you can’t…you’re right!” It all depends on what you believe about yourself.
How do they work?
Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world. They determine our actions or inactions. Thoughts affect feelings. Feelings affect behaviour. Behaviour produces results (or the lack of them). It all begins with our thoughts, since we have to accept a thought for it to become a belief.
It’s been said that whatever you believe becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe. For this reason, two people facing the same situation may interpret it differently, act according to their different beliefs and experience different outcomes.
Self-limiting beliefs act like brakes on our progress. They leave us acting forward, but believing backward. They have been described as a malicious thermostat; you can take all the action you want, and in the right direction too. But anytime you make progress, the thermostat pulls you back to conform to your inner negative programming.
Attempting to move forward when you have backward programming is like expecting a photocopy to be different from the original. You’ve got to work on the original copy first, change the blue print, modify the DNA.
Your thoughts and beliefs are your programming. You cannot move beyond them. To get out of the vicious cycle of acting forward but believing backward you’ve got to identify these malicious thermostats, and eliminate them, consciously and continuously. Sometimes it’s a lifelong battle, but one that you can win each time.
What can I do about them?
Fortunately, you can get rid of self-limiting beliefs. But first you have to identify them. They could be lurking in the recesses of our minds without our awareness. Talking with a friend or consulting with a coach could give you more objective feedback as to their existence.
Once you have identified them, these limiting beliefs must be challenged every time they rear their heads. You must consciously reject any thought or suggestion that you are limited in any way. There is nothing you cannot do. You simply need to find the way and follow it to conclusion.
When self-limiting thoughts are starved of attention, they wither and die. Whatever you give attention to magnifies: whatever you do not attend to shrivels up and dies. Jim Rohn says it aptly: “You cannot take the mild approach to the weeds in your mental garden. You have got to hate weeds enough to kill them. Weeds are not something you handle; weeds are something you devastate.”
No one is better than you are. If others do better, it is simply because they have had more practise, more experience, and/or they know something that you don’t. And all this can be remedied. God made us equal. It’s what we build upon His initial investment that makes the difference.
Read what the experts have said about our beliefs:
• Belief always precedes action. -James Allen(We won’t even attempt something unless we first believe we can accomplish it. No belief, no action, i.e. procrastination.)
• Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs. -Maxwell Maltz
• Once your thoughts reflect what you genuinely want to be, the appropriate emotions and the consequent behaviour will flow automatically. Believe it and you will see it. -Wayne Dyer
In a nut shell, you must control the thoughts that play around in your mind. Admit and nurture only those that enhance your positive programming and move you to your goals.
Possible sources
Limiting beliefs could come from the things people said to us and about us while we grew up. Now is the time to devastate these weeds. They could also come from listening to negative people, watching/listening to negative TV and radio programs, reading negative books and magazines, and repeatedly hearing negative song lyrics. Always be on the look-out for possible sources, not fearfully, but with the view to detect and devastate them.
A proactive approach
A better way to deal with self-limiting thoughts is to prevent them in the first place. Examining the list of sources above will give you an idea of where their opposites (self-empowering beliefs) can be found – in the opposite directions! If you spend time with wholesome people and material, this will build healthy, wholesome thought patterns. A mind that is girded with strong, empowering thoughts is in fit enough condition to resist invasion by these malicious, illegal aliens.
Invest in inspirational books, seminars, CDs etc. Engage in positive self-talk or affirmations. And just in case self-limiting thoughts slip through unnoticed, perform periodic “mind-sanitation exercises” where you do some self-evaluation. Sometimes a seminar attendance or listening to an audio program is what will alert you of this incursion.
I wish you all the best as you build a strong and healthy mind. Go forward and do all the things you thought you could not do, because now you know that you can. Can I hear an “Amen” somebody?!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
HOW TO STOP WORRYING
Most people spend far too much time worrying about things that may never happen. If you find yourself doing this you are wasting energy. Here is a simple way to control worry instead of letting it control you.
What is worry? By definition, it is "to feel disturbed or depressed through fear regarding some event or outcome". In other words, you fear that a certain thing will happen in the future.
When you worry about something you are bringing one possible future into your mind and living it as if it was the present. It is exactly that, one POSSIBLE future, but there are many others that you can choose from.
Many success books and programs suggest that you shift your mental focus to the more enjoyable possibilities. When that worrisome thought enters your mind you are to think of a better future outcome instead.
One way to do this is by relaxing your body and mind and visualizing the best possible scenario instead of the worst. But this is not always easy for some people to do. There is an easier way that you may not have considered before.
A Simple Way to Stop Worrying
The first thing to remember is that you will usually worry about something at ANY time and part of the solution is to control the time when you worry. Decide upon a specific time when you will worry and stick to this schedule.
Select a certain time each day such as 8:15 PM to worry about anything and everything that could go wrong. This may sound silly but it is no more so than the worrying you are experiencing.
Next, whenever a worrisome thought enters your mind at any other time, tell yourself that it is not time to worry and that you will do it at the scheduled time. In this way you are not telling yourself to stop worrying but only that you will do it later because you don't have the time right now.
Once that time arrives, say 8:15 PM, tell yourself that is NOW time to worry about anything you want. One of two things will then happen to you.
You will either think that this is ridiculous and may not even remember what it is that you had to worry about. If so then have a good laugh and repeat this exercise each day until you realize that worrying is a waste of your time and energy.
The second thing that may happen to you is that worries WILL actually enter your mind at the scheduled time. If this happens you should embrace them and not try to shut them out. If you try to deny them then they will only return at another time.
Also, instead of accepting the worry as you feel it, try to exaggerate it as much as possible. In other words make it even worse, even horrible to the point where you realize that such an outcome would be impossible.
As an example, suppose you had a credit card bill that you couldn't easily pay and the fear or worry of what would happen kept entering your mind. First you would tell yourself that you would worry about it later at 8:15 PM. Second, once that time came and it entered your mind again you would imagine a far worse outcome.
Imagine that the bill was never paid, the VISA or MASTERCARD police came and arrested you and you went to prison where you were immediately sentenced to death by being buried alive or by slow torture. Impossible? Of course but your worries are most likely to be just as unlikely.
Again, when this happens you will probably start to laugh at why you were worried about it in the first place. If you keep doing this your worries will vanish because your mind will think that it's no use to bother you with them any longer.
Another thing that you can do to remind you about when it's time to worry is to draw a large letter W or print the one below. Post it somewhere you can always see it and look at it to remind yourself when it's time to worry or not.
Worrying will not help you find success and you can turn it around if you desire to by following these simple techniques. You can even enjoy a good laugh by doing it. Remember what Alfred E. Newman from MAD Magazine used to say:
What Me Worry?
What is worry? By definition, it is "to feel disturbed or depressed through fear regarding some event or outcome". In other words, you fear that a certain thing will happen in the future.
When you worry about something you are bringing one possible future into your mind and living it as if it was the present. It is exactly that, one POSSIBLE future, but there are many others that you can choose from.
Many success books and programs suggest that you shift your mental focus to the more enjoyable possibilities. When that worrisome thought enters your mind you are to think of a better future outcome instead.
One way to do this is by relaxing your body and mind and visualizing the best possible scenario instead of the worst. But this is not always easy for some people to do. There is an easier way that you may not have considered before.
A Simple Way to Stop Worrying
The first thing to remember is that you will usually worry about something at ANY time and part of the solution is to control the time when you worry. Decide upon a specific time when you will worry and stick to this schedule.
Select a certain time each day such as 8:15 PM to worry about anything and everything that could go wrong. This may sound silly but it is no more so than the worrying you are experiencing.
Next, whenever a worrisome thought enters your mind at any other time, tell yourself that it is not time to worry and that you will do it at the scheduled time. In this way you are not telling yourself to stop worrying but only that you will do it later because you don't have the time right now.
Once that time arrives, say 8:15 PM, tell yourself that is NOW time to worry about anything you want. One of two things will then happen to you.
You will either think that this is ridiculous and may not even remember what it is that you had to worry about. If so then have a good laugh and repeat this exercise each day until you realize that worrying is a waste of your time and energy.
The second thing that may happen to you is that worries WILL actually enter your mind at the scheduled time. If this happens you should embrace them and not try to shut them out. If you try to deny them then they will only return at another time.
Also, instead of accepting the worry as you feel it, try to exaggerate it as much as possible. In other words make it even worse, even horrible to the point where you realize that such an outcome would be impossible.
As an example, suppose you had a credit card bill that you couldn't easily pay and the fear or worry of what would happen kept entering your mind. First you would tell yourself that you would worry about it later at 8:15 PM. Second, once that time came and it entered your mind again you would imagine a far worse outcome.
Imagine that the bill was never paid, the VISA or MASTERCARD police came and arrested you and you went to prison where you were immediately sentenced to death by being buried alive or by slow torture. Impossible? Of course but your worries are most likely to be just as unlikely.
Again, when this happens you will probably start to laugh at why you were worried about it in the first place. If you keep doing this your worries will vanish because your mind will think that it's no use to bother you with them any longer.
Another thing that you can do to remind you about when it's time to worry is to draw a large letter W or print the one below. Post it somewhere you can always see it and look at it to remind yourself when it's time to worry or not.
Worrying will not help you find success and you can turn it around if you desire to by following these simple techniques. You can even enjoy a good laugh by doing it. Remember what Alfred E. Newman from MAD Magazine used to say:
What Me Worry?
Monday, July 7, 2008
10 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL IN YOUR LIFE
There are just a few aspects of life that we can truly control, and it's useful to know just what those areas are. If you don't know, you'll spend a lot of time blaming others for your own failings. Try and exert too much control in areas you shouldn't and the universe will create some interesting ways to remind of your place.
So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:
*What you do
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.
*What you say
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.
*What you think
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.
*Your work
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.
Who you associate with
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
*Your health
Much of our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, excercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
*The environment you live in
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).
*Your finances
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.
*Your time
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.
*Your legacy
All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.
____
So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:
*What you do
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.
*What you say
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.
*What you think
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.
*Your work
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a degree, experience, etc." Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place.
It's your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as well.
Who you associate with
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
*Your health
Much of our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, excercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
*The environment you live in
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).
*Your finances
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.
*Your time
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You'll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.
*Your legacy
All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.
____
Thursday, July 3, 2008
10 KEY ATTRIBUTES OF SUPER ACHIEVERS
World Champion Olympic and professional athletes walk the talk. They don't just talk one way and act another. They talk the talk and walk the walk of excellence, achievement and peak performance. They have congruence. Their behavior matches who they are as championship people. This congruency allows them to operate closer to their potential more of the time.What can we learn from these superstars? We can learn and adopt the qualities of top-performing athletes by examining how they are in the competitive arena. These peak performers have these qualities:1. They Walk the Talk. Performers who just talk a good game are a dime a dozen. Those who trash-talk are not able to let their performance do the talking. They need to cover up a weak game. Champions can be quietly dynamic, secure in the belief that they are true champions. They talk about what they do because they can live it.2. The Ability to Make Comebacks. Champions make comebacks after every error they make. There has never been an athlete who played an error-free game. They make comebacks after a poor performance, after a slump, after an injury, after any setback. They will not be denied in their march to success.3. The Ability to Control the Clock. Champion performers know how to control momentum. They know how to help themselves by controlling time during performances so they feel in control. They set and dictate the tempo of a contest.4. Self-Reflective Time. Champions make time to review all their performances and training systems. They consider this time sacred because it is here that they make adjustments and practice continuous improvement. They need quiet time to learn more about themselves as people and how this impacts their performances.5. The Drive to Improve. Champions are often not satisfied fully with most performances. Something could have been better or gone more smoothly. They accept the limitations of the day during a performance and get on with the job, but realize that to improve, they must maintain a critical eye toward flaws and imperfections. They do this without damaging their self-esteem and confidence.6. They are Resistance-Oriented. Winners resist losing. They resist giving in to pain, fatigue, boredom, trouble, bothersome opponents, and all else that stands in their way of success. When trouble appears, they resist it. They never give in.7. They Have Competitive Spirit. Champions view competition as challenging, exciting, a test, fun, and allow the spirit of the battle to raise their game to the next level. They approach competition with gusto, a positive outlook and see it as an adventure.8. They Embrace Win-Win Teamwork. Champions know how to be great team players and how to make everyone involved be winners in business and life. In sport, they often even view opposing players as partners in co-creating the competition that will take both to higher levels of performance.9. They Take Responsibility. Champions are independent-minded. They admit when something is their fault and resolve it. They don't blame others. They take credit for their success and praise others for theirs. They create their success teams, yet realize that the ultimate responsibility for their lives resides within them.10. They Play With Integrity. Champions compete with honesty, fair-mindedness, and concern for their fellow competitors, team-mates, coaches and spectators. They stand for the highest ideals of sportsmanship and integrity at all times. They pride themselves on being good people as well as good athletes.Sport is one of the last bastions of performance accountability and effort-to-outcome arenas left in the world. It is a put-up-or-shut-up environment. Either you can do it, or you can't. Just yapping about it isn't enough. You have to prove you can do it. You have to walk the talk.We can use our top athletes as models for how we'd like to be in our lives and careers. Take the very best qualities from the best athletes and you will become a champion in your arena also.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
DO YOU TRUST YOUR MENTORS
Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?
by Rasheed Ali
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
I was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust.
We were talking about individuals finding mentors and trusting their mentors enough to pay for their services or to teach them what they wanted (need) to know.
The question caught me off guard because the truth of the matter was I hadn't really given sufficient thought to what TRUST really was in the world of self improvement, personal development and finding mentors because I just trust people. Well, until they prove otherwise...
First of all a mentor is...
men·tor - A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
Second of all trust is...
trust - Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
With that cleared up...
After I got off the call I realized that I should have explained that every time I met a person that did not trust me, it was THEY and not me who were not trust worthy!
Now before you go and say, "Well that's a generalization Rasheed!" Let me explain this:
People who give trust, CAN be trusted. People who do not trust others are NOT trust worthy. It's that simple and I don't need some Forrester Research or Harvard to tell me that!
Think about the last time someone didn't trust you... Did they prove to be worthy of trust? I highly doubt it.
As with everything in our world Trust has two sides and both serve their purpose.
So how do you trust people? You just DO. It's all about your attitude and changing it to get what you want.
If you want to trust people, give it first or you'll be considered untrustworthy.
Everyone gets burned more than once in life but, the ones that succeed are those that get burned, learn and keep trusting the right people.
As for trusting mentors, do I need to give the definition again???
If they've reached a level of personal development and you want be there, then you should seek them out to teach you how to get there with ruthless efficiency.
Mentors serve three major purposes as a resource.
Intellectual Resource
Spiritual Resource
Financial Resource
After you've gotten over yourself or distrust, you decide what who you want and go get a mentor.
If you still don't trust people, then here's what you do...
Walk over to a mirror and take a long hard look. Then say to the person in the mirror, "Hey I hope you're happy because you and I are going to be where we are right now, for quite a while." ;-P
With learning to trust achieved however, you will break through obstacles and become more powerful every day.
"Self trust is the first secret of success." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
by Rasheed Ali
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
I was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust.
We were talking about individuals finding mentors and trusting their mentors enough to pay for their services or to teach them what they wanted (need) to know.
The question caught me off guard because the truth of the matter was I hadn't really given sufficient thought to what TRUST really was in the world of self improvement, personal development and finding mentors because I just trust people. Well, until they prove otherwise...
First of all a mentor is...
men·tor - A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
Second of all trust is...
trust - Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
With that cleared up...
After I got off the call I realized that I should have explained that every time I met a person that did not trust me, it was THEY and not me who were not trust worthy!
Now before you go and say, "Well that's a generalization Rasheed!" Let me explain this:
People who give trust, CAN be trusted. People who do not trust others are NOT trust worthy. It's that simple and I don't need some Forrester Research or Harvard to tell me that!
Think about the last time someone didn't trust you... Did they prove to be worthy of trust? I highly doubt it.
As with everything in our world Trust has two sides and both serve their purpose.
So how do you trust people? You just DO. It's all about your attitude and changing it to get what you want.
If you want to trust people, give it first or you'll be considered untrustworthy.
Everyone gets burned more than once in life but, the ones that succeed are those that get burned, learn and keep trusting the right people.
As for trusting mentors, do I need to give the definition again???
If they've reached a level of personal development and you want be there, then you should seek them out to teach you how to get there with ruthless efficiency.
Mentors serve three major purposes as a resource.
Intellectual Resource
Spiritual Resource
Financial Resource
After you've gotten over yourself or distrust, you decide what who you want and go get a mentor.
If you still don't trust people, then here's what you do...
Walk over to a mirror and take a long hard look. Then say to the person in the mirror, "Hey I hope you're happy because you and I are going to be where we are right now, for quite a while." ;-P
With learning to trust achieved however, you will break through obstacles and become more powerful every day.
"Self trust is the first secret of success." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monday, May 26, 2008
SUCCESS STORY OF THOMAS EDISON
Born on February 11, 1847 in Milan, Ohio to middle-class parents, Thomas "Al" Edison surprisingly did not speak until he was four years of age. But once he did begin to talk, he persistently asked anyone he could endless questions about how anything he encountered worked.
At an early age his mother recognized his insatiable appetite for knowledge and began to educate him at home. With this and his discovery of the public library, he began to learn as much as possible about the world and the things the make it run by reading every book he could.
He was a rare child in that his thirst for knowledge seemed to be inborn to him. He soon exceeded the ability of his parents to teach him and they hired tutors to assist him with concepts such as physics and mathematics.
In studying Sir Isaac Newton's works, Edison embraced and absorbed the principles, but was dissatisfied with the manner in which it was presented, concluding that even the greatest minds have certain attitudes that prevent them from properly seeing the errors of their ways.
This encouraged him to adopt his own philosophy of learning through observation and experimentation. His formal education was minimal at best, but this was never a problem for him since he used all available resources, his exceptionally keen mind and legendary powers of recall to more than compensate.
At the age of only twelve, he started his own business selling vegetables while being involved in several other ventures.
One of these was publishing and distributing campaign literature for Abraham Lincoln, for which he received more than a respectable amount of income. He used this money to set up a chemical laboratory in his parent's house, which they were not entirely pleased with.
Whether it was because of being struck on the side of the head by a train conductor or contracting scarlet fever at the age of fourteen, Edison's hearing ability was almost completely eliminated.
Although entirely deaf in one ear and having only partial ability in the other, he simply accepted it as another challenge and found other methods of learning what he needed to know.
When presented with an opportunity to undergo an operation to correct his hearing loss, he replied "I would have difficulty re-learning how to channel my thinking in a noisy world."
His only regret was that he was unable to hear the sound of birds singing their songs, but even in response to this he later built a bird sanctuary that became home to thousands of them.
At the age of sixteen he become a freelance telegraph operator which enabled him to observe and research the science behind it. As a result he developed his first true original invention called an "automatic repeater."
It transmitted telegraph signals between unmanned stations, allowing almost anyone to simply and accurately translate code at their own speed and convenience. Ironically, he never attempted to obtain a patent for this idea.
By the year 1868 he was well known for his exceptional ability with the telegraph but was penniless. It only made things worse when he returned home and found that his mother was on the verge of insanity, his father had quit his job and the bank was about to foreclose on the mortgage of their house.
He decided right then that he had to deal with his own difficulties and earn a substantial amount of money as soon as possible.
He became a telegrapher for Western Union and worked twelve hours a day, six days a week but still found time to pursue his own projects. He even managed to create and patent his first legitimate invention, an electronic voting machine.
Unfortunately, it was not accepted because it altered the political process that those in power found distressing. Although disappointed, he realized that he needed to focus only on things that people would be happy with and buy.
Through this experience he became enlightened with respect to sales and marketing that he had previously ignored.
After another painful experience involving other pioneers in the area of telegraphy, being deeply in debt and soon to be fired by Western Union for not properly focusing on his responsibilities, he borrowed $35.00 from a friend and purchased a ticket to New York.
After being there over two weeks, almost starving to death and with absolutely no money, an amazing incident took place.
While wandering around the financial district he witnessed the manager of a brokerage firm in panic because a stock-ticker had broken down. He proceeded to investigate the problem and found a quick solution, a loose spring, which made the manager extremely grateful for which he hired Edison on the spot at the lofty rate (for that time) of $300.00 per month.
Edison reflected later that this experience had delivered him from poverty into prosperity. Soon afterwards and by way of having invented the first telegraph transmitter capable of quadrupling its speed, a large corporation purchased the rights from him for $40,000.00. It was the first real money that he had ever received in his life and was even afraid that he would be unable to cash the cheque they had given him.
He was astonished that he had all this money but fortunately listened to a friend that told him to simply let it sit in the bank and forget about it for a while.
He soon later contacted his parents, provided them with all the money that they needed and even paid back the $35.00 debt that he had incurred to his friend.
At the age of 29, he was extremely close to inventing the telephone but was outdone by Alexander Graham Bell, who ironically was using a component that Edison had previously created. Although extremely disappointed, he surpassed everyone else by creating the first practical incandescent electric light bulb shortly afterwards.
This effort alone was an amazing breakthrough and relied on hundreds if not thousands of experiments in order to find the right type of filament that would not disintegrate prematurely.
He discovered that a tungsten based filament in a partial vacuum would be able to last sufficiently long to be of commercial use.
But even this was still not enough for him. He needed to create a way to generate and distribute electricity that was efficient and not costly.
Perhaps his greatest effort and contribution to humanity was the electrical generation plant and the method of distributing this power to consumers.
There is much more about Thomas Edison that you can read and by visiting the following sites:
A complete biography of Thomas Edison can be read at http://www.thomasedison.com/biog.htm
To review a summarized version of the inventions he created and the events associated with them during his life, visit http://www.thomasedison.com/Inventions.htm
A Success Review of Thomas Edison
With little or no doubt, he was an amazing individual who surpassed everyone's expectations and even his own at some points in his life.
Although he was gifted with intense desire from the start of his life and exceptional mental abilities, the failures and disappointment that he experienced were often extreme.
At times penniless, beyond hunger and having lost most of his hearing ability, he still stayed on his course. How was he able to continue?
Perhaps because there were many times when failure was not an option for him. The only way he could continue was to succeed, no matter what he or any one else believed.
When he did finally succeed, he found it incredibly difficult to believe that he had. After he finally cashed that $40,000.00 cheque (an incredible sum at that time), he did not even know what to do with it.
Here was a man that had already overcome incredible odds in realizing his goals but had difficulty accepting the results of his own success. Why was it so hard for him?
The important thing to remember is that Thomas Edison did not really seek fortune, but only enough money to continue to live. The wealth that he may have accumulated were a consequence of his desire to realize other goals.
The large number of patents awarded to him or any of his companies is a testimony to this. Even so, a large portion of the money received was reinvested in the research and creation of other ventures that would benefit all of mankind.
The wealth that he obtained was a result of his having achieved those goals. For him, money was at best only a secondary consideration.
One of the items necessary for success is a detailed list of goals. Did Thomas Edison have such a list?
Perhaps not only a written list of major things he needed or wanted to do, but also a mental list of each task necessary to accomplish each one.
Another requirement for success is a desire to succeed. Did Edison have this?
His life experiences illustrate this to be absolutely true in both a powerful yet painful way.
Did Edison have any internal belief conflicts about success?
He did have difficulty believing that success could be so financially rewarding and was unprepared for it.
Once he had broken through from poverty to prosperity his outlook changed and he was able to accept success in other ways unknown to him before.
His successes are almost without equal in history, but his knowledge of success was self-learned. He believed that without some failure there cannot be success and that consistency of effort was far more important.
This is clear by the statement he made regarding genius involving far more perspiration than inspiration. Although he may not have at first known about success itself, he later came to fully understand it.
The specific knowledge that he accumulated whether by reading, observation or experimenting was immense. He pursued such knowledge relentlessly at great cost, and was a pioneer who explored uncharted areas of science.
His used the trial and error method of succeeding with little regard to failure. To him, each failure was just one more way how not to achieve his desired goal.
Another success requirement, obtaining knowledge of success in certain chosen areas may have been very difficult for him to achieve, but he was still able to do so.
His ability to apply knowledge was obviously accomplished by him repeatedly and with incredible desire. The results of his efforts are clear to anyone using almost any form of technology.
Although Thomas Edison was successful in many ways, his journey to success was exceptionally difficult at best.
Could his journey have been made in any way somewhat easier? He had enough strength of desire for perhaps ten people and did not need any assistance in this area.
He knew what he wanted to accomplish in almost excessive detail and therefore did not require help to discover what he desired.
However, he did have some belief conflicts regarding success but was eventually able to resolve them. These could have been addressed much earlier had he known about them.
He also had to learn for himself about success itself and in this respect his journey could have been made somewhat less painful.
In addition, the specific knowledge he had to obtain was virtually unavailable anywhere else and he had to create much of it on his own by the painfully slow method of trial and error.
It is doubtful that he could have been assisted except by a very few peers that he could have collaborated with.
Your path to success can be far easier if you apply the principles, methods and techniques that are available to you. They will reduce both the time and effort you need in order to achieve the success that you seek.
If Mr. Edison could succeed despite all the obstacles he faced, do you not think that you can too?
He would probably even be pleased that in some small way, your success was partially because of something that he had said or done to inspire you.
Thank you, Thomas Edison for your enormous shoulders on which others can stand upon!
At an early age his mother recognized his insatiable appetite for knowledge and began to educate him at home. With this and his discovery of the public library, he began to learn as much as possible about the world and the things the make it run by reading every book he could.
He was a rare child in that his thirst for knowledge seemed to be inborn to him. He soon exceeded the ability of his parents to teach him and they hired tutors to assist him with concepts such as physics and mathematics.
In studying Sir Isaac Newton's works, Edison embraced and absorbed the principles, but was dissatisfied with the manner in which it was presented, concluding that even the greatest minds have certain attitudes that prevent them from properly seeing the errors of their ways.
This encouraged him to adopt his own philosophy of learning through observation and experimentation. His formal education was minimal at best, but this was never a problem for him since he used all available resources, his exceptionally keen mind and legendary powers of recall to more than compensate.
At the age of only twelve, he started his own business selling vegetables while being involved in several other ventures.
One of these was publishing and distributing campaign literature for Abraham Lincoln, for which he received more than a respectable amount of income. He used this money to set up a chemical laboratory in his parent's house, which they were not entirely pleased with.
Whether it was because of being struck on the side of the head by a train conductor or contracting scarlet fever at the age of fourteen, Edison's hearing ability was almost completely eliminated.
Although entirely deaf in one ear and having only partial ability in the other, he simply accepted it as another challenge and found other methods of learning what he needed to know.
When presented with an opportunity to undergo an operation to correct his hearing loss, he replied "I would have difficulty re-learning how to channel my thinking in a noisy world."
His only regret was that he was unable to hear the sound of birds singing their songs, but even in response to this he later built a bird sanctuary that became home to thousands of them.
At the age of sixteen he become a freelance telegraph operator which enabled him to observe and research the science behind it. As a result he developed his first true original invention called an "automatic repeater."
It transmitted telegraph signals between unmanned stations, allowing almost anyone to simply and accurately translate code at their own speed and convenience. Ironically, he never attempted to obtain a patent for this idea.
By the year 1868 he was well known for his exceptional ability with the telegraph but was penniless. It only made things worse when he returned home and found that his mother was on the verge of insanity, his father had quit his job and the bank was about to foreclose on the mortgage of their house.
He decided right then that he had to deal with his own difficulties and earn a substantial amount of money as soon as possible.
He became a telegrapher for Western Union and worked twelve hours a day, six days a week but still found time to pursue his own projects. He even managed to create and patent his first legitimate invention, an electronic voting machine.
Unfortunately, it was not accepted because it altered the political process that those in power found distressing. Although disappointed, he realized that he needed to focus only on things that people would be happy with and buy.
Through this experience he became enlightened with respect to sales and marketing that he had previously ignored.
After another painful experience involving other pioneers in the area of telegraphy, being deeply in debt and soon to be fired by Western Union for not properly focusing on his responsibilities, he borrowed $35.00 from a friend and purchased a ticket to New York.
After being there over two weeks, almost starving to death and with absolutely no money, an amazing incident took place.
While wandering around the financial district he witnessed the manager of a brokerage firm in panic because a stock-ticker had broken down. He proceeded to investigate the problem and found a quick solution, a loose spring, which made the manager extremely grateful for which he hired Edison on the spot at the lofty rate (for that time) of $300.00 per month.
Edison reflected later that this experience had delivered him from poverty into prosperity. Soon afterwards and by way of having invented the first telegraph transmitter capable of quadrupling its speed, a large corporation purchased the rights from him for $40,000.00. It was the first real money that he had ever received in his life and was even afraid that he would be unable to cash the cheque they had given him.
He was astonished that he had all this money but fortunately listened to a friend that told him to simply let it sit in the bank and forget about it for a while.
He soon later contacted his parents, provided them with all the money that they needed and even paid back the $35.00 debt that he had incurred to his friend.
At the age of 29, he was extremely close to inventing the telephone but was outdone by Alexander Graham Bell, who ironically was using a component that Edison had previously created. Although extremely disappointed, he surpassed everyone else by creating the first practical incandescent electric light bulb shortly afterwards.
This effort alone was an amazing breakthrough and relied on hundreds if not thousands of experiments in order to find the right type of filament that would not disintegrate prematurely.
He discovered that a tungsten based filament in a partial vacuum would be able to last sufficiently long to be of commercial use.
But even this was still not enough for him. He needed to create a way to generate and distribute electricity that was efficient and not costly.
Perhaps his greatest effort and contribution to humanity was the electrical generation plant and the method of distributing this power to consumers.
There is much more about Thomas Edison that you can read and by visiting the following sites:
A complete biography of Thomas Edison can be read at http://www.thomasedison.com/biog.htm
To review a summarized version of the inventions he created and the events associated with them during his life, visit http://www.thomasedison.com/Inventions.htm
A Success Review of Thomas Edison
With little or no doubt, he was an amazing individual who surpassed everyone's expectations and even his own at some points in his life.
Although he was gifted with intense desire from the start of his life and exceptional mental abilities, the failures and disappointment that he experienced were often extreme.
At times penniless, beyond hunger and having lost most of his hearing ability, he still stayed on his course. How was he able to continue?
Perhaps because there were many times when failure was not an option for him. The only way he could continue was to succeed, no matter what he or any one else believed.
When he did finally succeed, he found it incredibly difficult to believe that he had. After he finally cashed that $40,000.00 cheque (an incredible sum at that time), he did not even know what to do with it.
Here was a man that had already overcome incredible odds in realizing his goals but had difficulty accepting the results of his own success. Why was it so hard for him?
The important thing to remember is that Thomas Edison did not really seek fortune, but only enough money to continue to live. The wealth that he may have accumulated were a consequence of his desire to realize other goals.
The large number of patents awarded to him or any of his companies is a testimony to this. Even so, a large portion of the money received was reinvested in the research and creation of other ventures that would benefit all of mankind.
The wealth that he obtained was a result of his having achieved those goals. For him, money was at best only a secondary consideration.
One of the items necessary for success is a detailed list of goals. Did Thomas Edison have such a list?
Perhaps not only a written list of major things he needed or wanted to do, but also a mental list of each task necessary to accomplish each one.
Another requirement for success is a desire to succeed. Did Edison have this?
His life experiences illustrate this to be absolutely true in both a powerful yet painful way.
Did Edison have any internal belief conflicts about success?
He did have difficulty believing that success could be so financially rewarding and was unprepared for it.
Once he had broken through from poverty to prosperity his outlook changed and he was able to accept success in other ways unknown to him before.
His successes are almost without equal in history, but his knowledge of success was self-learned. He believed that without some failure there cannot be success and that consistency of effort was far more important.
This is clear by the statement he made regarding genius involving far more perspiration than inspiration. Although he may not have at first known about success itself, he later came to fully understand it.
The specific knowledge that he accumulated whether by reading, observation or experimenting was immense. He pursued such knowledge relentlessly at great cost, and was a pioneer who explored uncharted areas of science.
His used the trial and error method of succeeding with little regard to failure. To him, each failure was just one more way how not to achieve his desired goal.
Another success requirement, obtaining knowledge of success in certain chosen areas may have been very difficult for him to achieve, but he was still able to do so.
His ability to apply knowledge was obviously accomplished by him repeatedly and with incredible desire. The results of his efforts are clear to anyone using almost any form of technology.
Although Thomas Edison was successful in many ways, his journey to success was exceptionally difficult at best.
Could his journey have been made in any way somewhat easier? He had enough strength of desire for perhaps ten people and did not need any assistance in this area.
He knew what he wanted to accomplish in almost excessive detail and therefore did not require help to discover what he desired.
However, he did have some belief conflicts regarding success but was eventually able to resolve them. These could have been addressed much earlier had he known about them.
He also had to learn for himself about success itself and in this respect his journey could have been made somewhat less painful.
In addition, the specific knowledge he had to obtain was virtually unavailable anywhere else and he had to create much of it on his own by the painfully slow method of trial and error.
It is doubtful that he could have been assisted except by a very few peers that he could have collaborated with.
Your path to success can be far easier if you apply the principles, methods and techniques that are available to you. They will reduce both the time and effort you need in order to achieve the success that you seek.
If Mr. Edison could succeed despite all the obstacles he faced, do you not think that you can too?
He would probably even be pleased that in some small way, your success was partially because of something that he had said or done to inspire you.
Thank you, Thomas Edison for your enormous shoulders on which others can stand upon!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
5 TIME SAVERS
1. Do tasks less frequently
Clean house every 10 days rather than every 7. Run a report every 6 weeks instead of every 4 weeks. Hold a meeting twice a month instead of every week.
2. Race yourself
Look at the clock & commit to have the task done by a specific time. You’ll stay focused, avoid distractions & probably work with higher quality.
3. Make the most of 15 minutes
Can you find an extra 15 minutes in your day to use more effectively? Is there "wasted” time you can eliminate or a lower-valued task you can cut? Saving 15 minutes a day gives you a whopping 91 extra hours a year!
4. Have a list of small, easy tasks that take only a few minutes
Normally, of course, we want to work on big, important projects first. But often when we’re stuck, tired, upset or overwhelmed, it’s hard to get anything done & we waste time spinning our wheels. A list of small or micro tasks will help you to get something done and will jumpstart your productivity. And of course, it’s better to get even a small task done than nothing!
5. Work on a task or project for a certain amount of time
Instead of trying to complete a task at one time, say to yourself, “I’ll work on this for 15 minutes and see how much I can get done.” Stay focused and challenge yourself to really get as much done as possible. (This tip is especially effective for a task or project you’ve been putting off.)
Clean house every 10 days rather than every 7. Run a report every 6 weeks instead of every 4 weeks. Hold a meeting twice a month instead of every week.
2. Race yourself
Look at the clock & commit to have the task done by a specific time. You’ll stay focused, avoid distractions & probably work with higher quality.
3. Make the most of 15 minutes
Can you find an extra 15 minutes in your day to use more effectively? Is there "wasted” time you can eliminate or a lower-valued task you can cut? Saving 15 minutes a day gives you a whopping 91 extra hours a year!
4. Have a list of small, easy tasks that take only a few minutes
Normally, of course, we want to work on big, important projects first. But often when we’re stuck, tired, upset or overwhelmed, it’s hard to get anything done & we waste time spinning our wheels. A list of small or micro tasks will help you to get something done and will jumpstart your productivity. And of course, it’s better to get even a small task done than nothing!
5. Work on a task or project for a certain amount of time
Instead of trying to complete a task at one time, say to yourself, “I’ll work on this for 15 minutes and see how much I can get done.” Stay focused and challenge yourself to really get as much done as possible. (This tip is especially effective for a task or project you’ve been putting off.)
Monday, April 21, 2008
YOU CAN BE A GREAT LEADER
Leadership can take on many qualities and wear many different hats. We mainly think of leaders and leadership in the way of businesses, managers and supervisors. Think about what these positions have in common. They take charge. They take care of things. This being the case that means that you, as an individual, can be a great leader with or without a business. Yes, that’s right. Be a leader of yourself and your actions. Need an explanation? Read on.Regardless as to what mountains you climb in life, you have the option of taking on the role of a leader or a follower. How you handle the situation dictates the type of person you are or will be in that particular incident. Want to be a leader? The following six steps outline how to turn being a follower into being a leader in everything you tackle in life and how to control a situation rather than the situation taking control of you.1. Success Methods There are proven methods used by highly successful people that help them achieve what they want in life. The most successful people—those who achieve the goals they set out to achieve and live fulfilling lives—demonstrate certain traits and actions. They are organized, disciplined, curious, open to learning and growing, fearless (or willing to act in spite of fear), positive-minded, and persistent. They take action, measure their results, and change course when necessary.2. Setting goalsSetting goals outlines your intentions for what you plan to do and makes it real to you. Goals are not results! Many people are afraid to set goals because they are afraid of what happens if they "fail" to achieve them. They believe that it negatively affects their self-image. Nothing could be further from the truth. One of the most positive aspects of goals is what not achieving a goal teaches you. If you don't achieve a goal, there can be any number of reasons why, some of which are beyond your control. However, examining why it was not achieved will yield valuable insights into your beliefs, attitudes and emotions.3. Think creatively and don't stop at the obvious Think about options available to you and envision the possibilities of bigger and better ways to do things. Develop the skill of having multiple options instead of settling for the easiest or fastest answer. Explore different possibilities and ask 'what if' questions. Discover new solutions for the old problems - don't take the easy way. When you think you have the answer, think of something else you can do to make it better.4. Your word is your truth Know that when you speak, you will fulfill your promise to others and others will know they can depend on you. Think before you speak. Under promise and over deliver. Always keep your promise, especially promises that you make to yourself.5. Clarity brings accomplishmentOne of the most important things you can do to effectively manage your day, week, month or year is to get clear on what it is you want to achieve. When you lose track of your goals or fail to plan appropriately, you end up spinning in circles and nothing gets accomplished. The clearer you are on your goals, the better results you will get. Make sure your goals are personal to you and not part of someone else's expectations. You will be far more motivated to achieve success when you are working toward something that really matters to you.6. Celebrate! Sit still after an accomplishment and savor the feelings of success. We need to reward ourselves in nurturing ways and celebrate not only our results but our efforts. Just in moving toward your goals you are ahead of many people who simply write them out and then do nothing. Remember the rewards are in the journey as well as in the results. Enjoy the process and celebrate often.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
LET OTHER PEOPLE SEE WHO YOU ARE
Do you know anybody that you consider to be particularly engaging and lively? Take a moment to picture that person in your mind. What is it about that person that you find most attractive? He or she may have a charming voice and a great laugh, but it is also very likely that you find their face very expressive. That person is probably quick to smile and laugh and seems to always have a twinkle in their eye.
A face that never shows any emotion, and never smiles is not very appealing. No matter how attractive or how plain a person’s facial features may be, a great smile can make that person look beautiful to others. When you smile at other people, they will assume that you are in a good mood and that you are happy to see them. This will make other people more likely to want to spend time with you and to know you better.
Allowing our face to show emotions is actually an advantage in developing relationships. Other people are constantly trying to read and respond to our body language and facial expressions, often on a subconscious level. They are trying to sense whether we really care about them or not, whether we are concerned with what is going on in their lives.
If you are a person who is very emotionally sensitive, this sensitivity can be an asset in forming relationships. Use your sensitivity to show empathy for other people. Don’t suppress your emotions, trying to be “cool”. Don’t waste your sensitive nature being sensitive only to yourself and your own emotions. Imagine being in the shoes of the person you are talking with, and let yourself feel the sadness, happiness, excitement or pride that is present in the story they are telling you.
If we repress all our emotions from showing on our face, people will feel frustrated trying to get a sense of who we really are. When we let our emotions show up on our face, sharing in our conversation partner’s joys and sorrows, worries and frustrations, as well as their hope and excitement, both of us feel less alone. Both people will feel more connected to each other.
Sometimes we worry about our facial expressions. We may sense that our smile looks forced, or makes us look nervous. We may worry that we don’t smile enough, or that we frown too much.
One way you can check on your facial expressions is to have yourself videotaped in conversation with another person. When you review the tape, does your smile looks forced, or natural? Do you look extremely serious? Are you able to portray a feeling of fun and light-heartedness?
If you are not able to analyze the tape effectively by yourself, have someone else you trust give you some feedback.
If you think your facial expressiveness could be improved, you can practice in front of a mirror. Watch your face as you imagine yourself feeling various positive and negative emotions. Imagine yourself hearing a very funny joke. Or winning the lottery. Or receiving a nice compliment. Meeting your neighbor. Getting a present. Having a secret.
Also imagine yourself experiencing negative situations and watch your facial expressions in the mirror. Exaggerate them. Switch back to imagining positive emotions. Are you normally this expressive? Do you let other people see the real you? Or do you try to hide yourself from everyone? Do you like the person you see in the mirror?
Your smiles and other facial expressions will be more natural and more appealing when you are relaxed, rather than tense. If you get nervous when you are talking with others, you may find it helpful to practice body relaxation techniques until you can easily relax at will. Consciously tell all the muscles in your body to relax, even if you have to give instructions mentally to each part of your body, one section at a time. When you are with other people, let your mental focus be on enjoying the situation you are in, rather than imagining what others are thinking about you, or worrying what you will say next.
Let you emotions come from deep within you, and spread to your face, rather than trying to artificially manufacture facial expressions.
You are blessed.
A face that never shows any emotion, and never smiles is not very appealing. No matter how attractive or how plain a person’s facial features may be, a great smile can make that person look beautiful to others. When you smile at other people, they will assume that you are in a good mood and that you are happy to see them. This will make other people more likely to want to spend time with you and to know you better.
Allowing our face to show emotions is actually an advantage in developing relationships. Other people are constantly trying to read and respond to our body language and facial expressions, often on a subconscious level. They are trying to sense whether we really care about them or not, whether we are concerned with what is going on in their lives.
If you are a person who is very emotionally sensitive, this sensitivity can be an asset in forming relationships. Use your sensitivity to show empathy for other people. Don’t suppress your emotions, trying to be “cool”. Don’t waste your sensitive nature being sensitive only to yourself and your own emotions. Imagine being in the shoes of the person you are talking with, and let yourself feel the sadness, happiness, excitement or pride that is present in the story they are telling you.
If we repress all our emotions from showing on our face, people will feel frustrated trying to get a sense of who we really are. When we let our emotions show up on our face, sharing in our conversation partner’s joys and sorrows, worries and frustrations, as well as their hope and excitement, both of us feel less alone. Both people will feel more connected to each other.
Sometimes we worry about our facial expressions. We may sense that our smile looks forced, or makes us look nervous. We may worry that we don’t smile enough, or that we frown too much.
One way you can check on your facial expressions is to have yourself videotaped in conversation with another person. When you review the tape, does your smile looks forced, or natural? Do you look extremely serious? Are you able to portray a feeling of fun and light-heartedness?
If you are not able to analyze the tape effectively by yourself, have someone else you trust give you some feedback.
If you think your facial expressiveness could be improved, you can practice in front of a mirror. Watch your face as you imagine yourself feeling various positive and negative emotions. Imagine yourself hearing a very funny joke. Or winning the lottery. Or receiving a nice compliment. Meeting your neighbor. Getting a present. Having a secret.
Also imagine yourself experiencing negative situations and watch your facial expressions in the mirror. Exaggerate them. Switch back to imagining positive emotions. Are you normally this expressive? Do you let other people see the real you? Or do you try to hide yourself from everyone? Do you like the person you see in the mirror?
Your smiles and other facial expressions will be more natural and more appealing when you are relaxed, rather than tense. If you get nervous when you are talking with others, you may find it helpful to practice body relaxation techniques until you can easily relax at will. Consciously tell all the muscles in your body to relax, even if you have to give instructions mentally to each part of your body, one section at a time. When you are with other people, let your mental focus be on enjoying the situation you are in, rather than imagining what others are thinking about you, or worrying what you will say next.
Let you emotions come from deep within you, and spread to your face, rather than trying to artificially manufacture facial expressions.
You are blessed.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
IF YOU WANT OTHERS TO LIKE YOU,LIKE YOURSELF FIRST
Many of us mistakenly believe that it’s wrong or conceited, to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time berating ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance. However, a constant focus on our supposed shortcomings can hinder our efforts to make friends with other people.
How can we have the confidence to make new friends if we think we don’t have much to offer? How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed? Or if we think we are too boring to interest anyone else?
We may wonder what anyone else would see in us if we don’t see any good in ourselves. In order for others to be attracted to us, they must be able to easily see our best qualities. If we focus on our good qualities we will have much more confidence that we have something of value to offer in a relationship.
If you wish to be socially successful, it’s important to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like you under all circumstances. Not everyone is going to like the package you come in, especially on first meeting you. Every person has a unique patterns of likes and dislikes which were formed long before they met you. Don’t think you have to condemn yourself as a failure if it seems that someone else doesn’t like you.
If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn’t like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.
Don’t take yourself out of the game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your assets. In fact, some of the very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all the factors that might cause one person to reject you, there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else.
You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a huge zest for life. There are many people to whom your extra pounds will literally be invisible. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wit, and the package it comes in is not important.
If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends, keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty in their friends.
You can decide to feel inferior because you don’t have much money and you don’t drive a nice car. You can believe that this is the reason that you don’t have many friends in your life. On the other hand, if you are very wealthy you may be suspicious that everyone is after your money and that nobody really likes you as a person.
The point is, you can fixate on just about anything and believe it’s the reason you do not have friends and cannot make any.
Here is an easy way to remind yourself of what your good qualities are: write down a list of your good qualities and review it often. Don’t just think in your mind about what your good qualities might be, actually make the effort to write the list. The act of writing helps to reinforce the strength of the ideas in your mind. Don’t be embarrassed to give yourself credit for your good points. If you don’t have any idea what your good points might be, you might want to ask some of the people you know.
When you compile your list of good qualities, be as generous in your praise as your best friend in the whole wide world would be! If you don’t have any best friends yet, imagine in your mind a wise and loving friend who knows you truly and appreciates you. What would that person say are your good points?
Here are some ideas that might be applicable to you. Feel free to adjust this list for yourself and add to it.
My good qualities are:
· I’m kind
· I never gossip
· I go out of my way to help others
· I’m good with numbers
· I have a calm disposition
· I know a lot about sports
You can keep your list with you and read it over every day. Add to it whenever you think of new good qualities you discover in yourself. Be alert for compliments that other people give you. The positive qualities that others see in you can go on your list as well.
When you are out there meeting people, frequently remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you have. It’s only a matter of time before you meet other people who will appreciate them too!
Learn to relax. Instead of berating yourself for some perceived shortcoming, concentrate on the good qualities you have to offer. Realize that there is an audience for your particular combination of gifts, and go looking for those people who will appreciate them.
God bless you.
How can we have the confidence to make new friends if we think we don’t have much to offer? How can we believe that others could like us if we believe our inner being is flawed? Or if we think we are too boring to interest anyone else?
We may wonder what anyone else would see in us if we don’t see any good in ourselves. In order for others to be attracted to us, they must be able to easily see our best qualities. If we focus on our good qualities we will have much more confidence that we have something of value to offer in a relationship.
If you wish to be socially successful, it’s important to accept the fact that not everybody is going to like you under all circumstances. Not everyone is going to like the package you come in, especially on first meeting you. Every person has a unique patterns of likes and dislikes which were formed long before they met you. Don’t think you have to condemn yourself as a failure if it seems that someone else doesn’t like you.
If someone seems to dislike you, the reason for that dislike might have little or nothing to do with you. The person who doesn’t like you might be fearful, or shallow, or busy or shy. Perhaps you and that person are simply a mismatch for each other at this particular time.
Don’t take yourself out of the game by deciding that your flaws are bigger than your assets. In fact, some of the very qualities you consider to be flaws may be irresistible to someone else. For all the factors that might cause one person to reject you, there are at least as many factors that will work in your favor with someone else.
You might be thirty pounds over your ideal weight, but you may have a wonderful laugh and a huge zest for life. There are many people to whom your extra pounds will literally be invisible. You may drive a shabby car, but you might be a great dancer and a loyal friend. There are people out there looking for loyalty, or fun, or sweetness, or wit, and the package it comes in is not important.
If you are worried that you are not beautiful enough to attract friends, keep in mind that not everyone is looking for physical beauty in their friends.
You can decide to feel inferior because you don’t have much money and you don’t drive a nice car. You can believe that this is the reason that you don’t have many friends in your life. On the other hand, if you are very wealthy you may be suspicious that everyone is after your money and that nobody really likes you as a person.
The point is, you can fixate on just about anything and believe it’s the reason you do not have friends and cannot make any.
Here is an easy way to remind yourself of what your good qualities are: write down a list of your good qualities and review it often. Don’t just think in your mind about what your good qualities might be, actually make the effort to write the list. The act of writing helps to reinforce the strength of the ideas in your mind. Don’t be embarrassed to give yourself credit for your good points. If you don’t have any idea what your good points might be, you might want to ask some of the people you know.
When you compile your list of good qualities, be as generous in your praise as your best friend in the whole wide world would be! If you don’t have any best friends yet, imagine in your mind a wise and loving friend who knows you truly and appreciates you. What would that person say are your good points?
Here are some ideas that might be applicable to you. Feel free to adjust this list for yourself and add to it.
My good qualities are:
· I’m kind
· I never gossip
· I go out of my way to help others
· I’m good with numbers
· I have a calm disposition
· I know a lot about sports
You can keep your list with you and read it over every day. Add to it whenever you think of new good qualities you discover in yourself. Be alert for compliments that other people give you. The positive qualities that others see in you can go on your list as well.
When you are out there meeting people, frequently remind yourself of all the wonderful qualities you have. It’s only a matter of time before you meet other people who will appreciate them too!
Learn to relax. Instead of berating yourself for some perceived shortcoming, concentrate on the good qualities you have to offer. Realize that there is an audience for your particular combination of gifts, and go looking for those people who will appreciate them.
God bless you.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
GOAL SETTINGS AND RELATIONSHIPS
That is not as weird as it may sound. Consider the following definition of a goal: "A goal is a future incidence or event that is consciously worked towards." With this in mind, it is perfectly normal to make it your goal to improve your relationship, and these seven goal setting tools can help you.
A great relationship is one of the finest things life can offer. When you choose your partner and start on a full-time relationship, you look forward to a future of love, support, encouragement, communication and intimacy. We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Often, due to circumstances outside your control, a relationship can become a little tarnished.
You recognize that all people are different and that even the most compatible couple will have individual needs that differ at times. Using just the seven goal setting tools discussed in this article takes a give and take approach. Partners in a relationship who adopt this give and take attitude often feel a sense of pride in modifying a need "downward" when they know it will satisfy and stabilize their partner and the relationship itself. Mutual giving flourishes in an atmosphere of cooperation.
Seven Goal Setting Tools
Listening: Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Being a good listener takes more than being attentive to your partner when he or she talks with you. Good listening is a characteristic of a healthy relationship. Give your mate full attention when he or she is talking. Listening without interrupting the other shows respect and also builds trust. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is just to listen - with your heart. So listening helps to improve relationship in great way.
Small things: The small things are what constitute our existence. Once the excitement your partner brings to your world becomes familiar, it's the small things that thrill you both and that will keep you connected and turned-on for the long run. Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Remember the small things you did to show your love to your mate? But as time went by, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Small things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say, "I love you", a handwritten appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.
Give attention: When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. Consider your mate's interests more important than your own. Give attention to your mate's interests. All healthy relationships require consistent, ongoing, conscious attention to survive and thrive. It is a simple fact that whenever we give attention to something, we are choosing to create more of it.
Say 'thank you': One of the most useful phrases in improving your relationship is to say "thank you". These two magic words will make others feel closer to you and create loyal relationships. This attitude of appreciation nourishes the heart of both participants and assures that each person's needs are attended to. Things like saying "thank you", re-charge your relationship. You know to say "thank you" when someone gives you a gift or does something special for you. However, if you're seriously interested in improving your relationship, you need to let your mate know how much you appreciate things that are not special, the things that we just take for granted because people are supposed to do them anyway. Tell your partner what is right with them, what you appreciate, value and cherish. Thank them repeatedly and often. Appreciation makes your partner feel valued. It also builds trust and a feeling of acceptance. These powerful attributes act like a magnet to attract your partner to you.
Personalized gifts: Personalized gifts are great not only for life's special occasions. Personalized gifts bring important moments to life and keep the memory alive forever. Express your feelings and show how much you care with personalized gifts. It shows your partner how much you value your relationship. Personalized gifts are always a winner because they are made exclusively for your beloved, with care and attention. Choose gifts that reflect your partner's interests. Evening wrapping your gift can be personalized. A little handwritten note expressing your gratitude can mean as much to your partner as the gift itself. Also be sure to give the gift in person. Personalized gift giving is a great way to spread goodwill and cheer amongst each other.
Feel special: Sometimes your partner likes to get noticed once in a while. We like to feel appreciated for our actions, feelings and aspirations and want to be noticed and acknowledged. Become a person who notices these things in your partner and give a compliment often. It will make your partner feel special and know how that you care. The only way our partner knows what makes us feel special is if we speak up. The gestures that make us feel special are different for each one of us. Learning how to make each other feel special takes time and an awareness. Taking this journey of self-discovery together is one of the joys of a relationship. A key to a happy relationship is a commitment to learn. It is an attitude of curiosity, discovery, and delight in each other. Learn this essential relationship wisdom, and you will make each other feel special every day.
Unconditional love: Love is the primary energy in the universe. Giving unconditional love will deliver the greatest joy possible. The term 'unconditional love' means to love without terms and conditions, which means giving of yourself. Unconditional love is accepting another for exactly who they are, not forcing the person to change to meet your expectations of how they should be. It is about giving the person the freedom to be exactly who they want to be by allowing, supporting and enabling them in every way you can. Unconditional Love is true neutrality; it does not judge or evaluate. It does not like or dislike. It does not blame, so it does not need to forgive. It does not have choices or preferences, opinions or positions. Unconditional Love does not dictate, is not authoritative. It has no expectations other than what is.
A great relationship is one of the finest things life can offer. When you choose your partner and start on a full-time relationship, you look forward to a future of love, support, encouragement, communication and intimacy. We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Often, due to circumstances outside your control, a relationship can become a little tarnished.
You recognize that all people are different and that even the most compatible couple will have individual needs that differ at times. Using just the seven goal setting tools discussed in this article takes a give and take approach. Partners in a relationship who adopt this give and take attitude often feel a sense of pride in modifying a need "downward" when they know it will satisfy and stabilize their partner and the relationship itself. Mutual giving flourishes in an atmosphere of cooperation.
Seven Goal Setting Tools
Listening: Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Being a good listener takes more than being attentive to your partner when he or she talks with you. Good listening is a characteristic of a healthy relationship. Give your mate full attention when he or she is talking. Listening without interrupting the other shows respect and also builds trust. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is just to listen - with your heart. So listening helps to improve relationship in great way.
Small things: The small things are what constitute our existence. Once the excitement your partner brings to your world becomes familiar, it's the small things that thrill you both and that will keep you connected and turned-on for the long run. Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Remember the small things you did to show your love to your mate? But as time went by, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Small things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say, "I love you", a handwritten appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.
Give attention: When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. Consider your mate's interests more important than your own. Give attention to your mate's interests. All healthy relationships require consistent, ongoing, conscious attention to survive and thrive. It is a simple fact that whenever we give attention to something, we are choosing to create more of it.
Say 'thank you': One of the most useful phrases in improving your relationship is to say "thank you". These two magic words will make others feel closer to you and create loyal relationships. This attitude of appreciation nourishes the heart of both participants and assures that each person's needs are attended to. Things like saying "thank you", re-charge your relationship. You know to say "thank you" when someone gives you a gift or does something special for you. However, if you're seriously interested in improving your relationship, you need to let your mate know how much you appreciate things that are not special, the things that we just take for granted because people are supposed to do them anyway. Tell your partner what is right with them, what you appreciate, value and cherish. Thank them repeatedly and often. Appreciation makes your partner feel valued. It also builds trust and a feeling of acceptance. These powerful attributes act like a magnet to attract your partner to you.
Personalized gifts: Personalized gifts are great not only for life's special occasions. Personalized gifts bring important moments to life and keep the memory alive forever. Express your feelings and show how much you care with personalized gifts. It shows your partner how much you value your relationship. Personalized gifts are always a winner because they are made exclusively for your beloved, with care and attention. Choose gifts that reflect your partner's interests. Evening wrapping your gift can be personalized. A little handwritten note expressing your gratitude can mean as much to your partner as the gift itself. Also be sure to give the gift in person. Personalized gift giving is a great way to spread goodwill and cheer amongst each other.
Feel special: Sometimes your partner likes to get noticed once in a while. We like to feel appreciated for our actions, feelings and aspirations and want to be noticed and acknowledged. Become a person who notices these things in your partner and give a compliment often. It will make your partner feel special and know how that you care. The only way our partner knows what makes us feel special is if we speak up. The gestures that make us feel special are different for each one of us. Learning how to make each other feel special takes time and an awareness. Taking this journey of self-discovery together is one of the joys of a relationship. A key to a happy relationship is a commitment to learn. It is an attitude of curiosity, discovery, and delight in each other. Learn this essential relationship wisdom, and you will make each other feel special every day.
Unconditional love: Love is the primary energy in the universe. Giving unconditional love will deliver the greatest joy possible. The term 'unconditional love' means to love without terms and conditions, which means giving of yourself. Unconditional love is accepting another for exactly who they are, not forcing the person to change to meet your expectations of how they should be. It is about giving the person the freedom to be exactly who they want to be by allowing, supporting and enabling them in every way you can. Unconditional Love is true neutrality; it does not judge or evaluate. It does not like or dislike. It does not blame, so it does not need to forgive. It does not have choices or preferences, opinions or positions. Unconditional Love does not dictate, is not authoritative. It has no expectations other than what is.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
WINNING THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE CLOCK AND YOU
Put out the fire and your whole day goes up in smoke and you don't realize that somebody's guilty of arson.
To be successful in today's highly-competitive world you must be focused. You must have long and short-term goals.
When you know where you want to go, it's easy to determine whether or not the work, tasks, and projects you're working on will take you there.
Here are three strategies you can use to leverage your time:
1. Block out time for yourself. Close the door. Turn off the phone. And give yourself an hour of uninterrupted time each day.
2. Work on your most important work, tasks and projects. Only do the things that have value. Eliminate everything else.
3. Use your Prime Time. There's a time of day when you do your best work. When you've the most energy and enthusiasm. Tackle your most important work at the time of day you're at your best.
Set your goals. Leverage your time. And you'll become more successful than you ever dreamed.
Use your time well and you will be successful.
To be successful in today's highly-competitive world you must be focused. You must have long and short-term goals.
When you know where you want to go, it's easy to determine whether or not the work, tasks, and projects you're working on will take you there.
Here are three strategies you can use to leverage your time:
1. Block out time for yourself. Close the door. Turn off the phone. And give yourself an hour of uninterrupted time each day.
2. Work on your most important work, tasks and projects. Only do the things that have value. Eliminate everything else.
3. Use your Prime Time. There's a time of day when you do your best work. When you've the most energy and enthusiasm. Tackle your most important work at the time of day you're at your best.
Set your goals. Leverage your time. And you'll become more successful than you ever dreamed.
Use your time well and you will be successful.
Friday, February 1, 2008
A GOAL WITHOUT A PLAN IS MERELY A WISH
This is the first, and important question you need to ask yourself. Why? If your reason for setting your goal is not sincere, your motivation and enthusiasm can wane drastically as you progress on your goal path. Setting personal goals is just that - personal, and if you do not have deep-rooted reason for your goal, your chances of succeeding are reduced dramatically.
We generally set goals because we are unhappy with where we are, either in life, our job, or a relationship. As Og Mandino says, "People don't change when they feel good. They change when they're fed up. When things are going all right, we all tend to do pretty much what we've been doing. Pain pushes us to those crucial turning points. We hurt, then we finally choose. It's that adverb finally. Enough is enough.!"
We want something better. An example is a better paying position at work, or a management position. Maybe it can be that we want to lose weight, or become healthier. Whatever it is, we generally set goals as result of wanting something better.
Animals function on instinct. They sleep, eat and procreate. That's it.
We humans have a thinking ability. And it is with this thinking ability that we have the urge to achieve something better. But we are also an inherently lazy creature, and we tend to have a resistance to effort.
Goals help keep us motivated
When we have something to aim at, something we achieve, we usually become excited. Think of going to your favorite restaurant. While you're getting ready, you can almost smell and taste your meal, and you are excited. It is no different when you have a goal to aim at, and this is especially relevant if you have a life goal. Each milestone that you reach, increases your excitement, aka your motivation. Especially, think of when you go on holiday. What is your level of excitement just prior to leaving on holiday, and to what level does this excitement rise shortly before leaving? And then as you progress on your journey? Using the holiday example, this excitement keeps rising the nearer you get to your destination.
Goals undoubtedly give us direction. An example here is when we want to progress in our career.
Let's say we want to secure a management position. We increase our knowledge and experience, and as result we become more equipped for the position. It is the objective of the management position that motivates us to undergo training, for example. Our goals enable us to move forward, and moving forward can only be beneficial. Go for the gold.
Successful people are goal orientated
Whatever your definition of success is, you will find it difficult to reach that level of success without goals.
If you don't have a target, the arrow will hit nothing.
It is very important to remember that goals are not static. As our circumstances change, it is inevitable that our goals change. The goals you had when you left school are very different to your goals ten years after school. Similarly, after marriage and children come along, your goals once again change. It is important to remember that when your circumstances change, review and, where necessary adapt your goals. The golden rule of setting your goals is to remain on your goal path.
Without a doubt, having personal goals keeps your enthusiasm up.
Using a map for our holiday
It is usual for us to consult a map when we go on holiday, and yet, sadly, for the holiday of life, we don't consider consulting a map for this important journey. And when we don't reach our destination, we become frustrated and annoyed. Yet, when we go on holiday, without a map, and we get lost we similarly get annoyed. And yet, this something we don't repeatedly do. Your goals, and especially your goal path, is your map for your life.
Having goals, or at the very least, a goal, will enable you to know where you're going in life. Goals do give us direction.
Thomas Edison is well-known for saying he didn't fail, but found 10 000 ways it didn't work. He had thousands of attempts over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he knew exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it.
Oprah Winfrey was an abused child who was determined to make a better life for herself. Michelle Kwan had a goal to be the best skater in the world.
If you want proof that goal setting works, and is valuable in your life, think of musicians. They are one of the best examples of having determination in not only setting, but also achieving their goals. Athletes don't become record holders by chance - it is only through effective goal setting. Top sales people work consciously at their goals, and as result become star performers. No-one becomes an astronaut by accident.
Every person who becomes successful in whatever field or area they choose, followed a goal path - a map to achieve their success.
Role of an effective goal setting system
If you have a dream, and want to achieve something better in life, having a goal can bring you success.
An effective goal setting system must get you on your road to success. It should also give you the tools to enable you to gain confidence in reaching your goal. There are many books and programs available that can help you set your goal. It is my belief that anyone can set a goal, but the important thing is to reach your goal.
An effective goal setting system should be a blueprint, and enable you to determine where you want to go with your life, and be an aid to keeping you on your goal path.
Having a goal, success is possible. Without goals, success is rarely possible - whatever area in your life.
We generally set goals because we are unhappy with where we are, either in life, our job, or a relationship. As Og Mandino says, "People don't change when they feel good. They change when they're fed up. When things are going all right, we all tend to do pretty much what we've been doing. Pain pushes us to those crucial turning points. We hurt, then we finally choose. It's that adverb finally. Enough is enough.!"
We want something better. An example is a better paying position at work, or a management position. Maybe it can be that we want to lose weight, or become healthier. Whatever it is, we generally set goals as result of wanting something better.
Animals function on instinct. They sleep, eat and procreate. That's it.
We humans have a thinking ability. And it is with this thinking ability that we have the urge to achieve something better. But we are also an inherently lazy creature, and we tend to have a resistance to effort.
Goals help keep us motivated
When we have something to aim at, something we achieve, we usually become excited. Think of going to your favorite restaurant. While you're getting ready, you can almost smell and taste your meal, and you are excited. It is no different when you have a goal to aim at, and this is especially relevant if you have a life goal. Each milestone that you reach, increases your excitement, aka your motivation. Especially, think of when you go on holiday. What is your level of excitement just prior to leaving on holiday, and to what level does this excitement rise shortly before leaving? And then as you progress on your journey? Using the holiday example, this excitement keeps rising the nearer you get to your destination.
Goals undoubtedly give us direction. An example here is when we want to progress in our career.
Let's say we want to secure a management position. We increase our knowledge and experience, and as result we become more equipped for the position. It is the objective of the management position that motivates us to undergo training, for example. Our goals enable us to move forward, and moving forward can only be beneficial. Go for the gold.
Successful people are goal orientated
Whatever your definition of success is, you will find it difficult to reach that level of success without goals.
If you don't have a target, the arrow will hit nothing.
It is very important to remember that goals are not static. As our circumstances change, it is inevitable that our goals change. The goals you had when you left school are very different to your goals ten years after school. Similarly, after marriage and children come along, your goals once again change. It is important to remember that when your circumstances change, review and, where necessary adapt your goals. The golden rule of setting your goals is to remain on your goal path.
Without a doubt, having personal goals keeps your enthusiasm up.
Using a map for our holiday
It is usual for us to consult a map when we go on holiday, and yet, sadly, for the holiday of life, we don't consider consulting a map for this important journey. And when we don't reach our destination, we become frustrated and annoyed. Yet, when we go on holiday, without a map, and we get lost we similarly get annoyed. And yet, this something we don't repeatedly do. Your goals, and especially your goal path, is your map for your life.
Having goals, or at the very least, a goal, will enable you to know where you're going in life. Goals do give us direction.
Thomas Edison is well-known for saying he didn't fail, but found 10 000 ways it didn't work. He had thousands of attempts over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he knew exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it.
Oprah Winfrey was an abused child who was determined to make a better life for herself. Michelle Kwan had a goal to be the best skater in the world.
If you want proof that goal setting works, and is valuable in your life, think of musicians. They are one of the best examples of having determination in not only setting, but also achieving their goals. Athletes don't become record holders by chance - it is only through effective goal setting. Top sales people work consciously at their goals, and as result become star performers. No-one becomes an astronaut by accident.
Every person who becomes successful in whatever field or area they choose, followed a goal path - a map to achieve their success.
Role of an effective goal setting system
If you have a dream, and want to achieve something better in life, having a goal can bring you success.
An effective goal setting system must get you on your road to success. It should also give you the tools to enable you to gain confidence in reaching your goal. There are many books and programs available that can help you set your goal. It is my belief that anyone can set a goal, but the important thing is to reach your goal.
An effective goal setting system should be a blueprint, and enable you to determine where you want to go with your life, and be an aid to keeping you on your goal path.
Having a goal, success is possible. Without goals, success is rarely possible - whatever area in your life.
You will reach your goals.
WHAT ARE YOU SEEING? PROBLEMS OR OPPORTUNITIES
As best I can tell here’s how it breaks down.
Some people see problems as opportunities. Understanding that getting through each opportunity puts them closer to the next one. Kind of going through life with a stair step mentality. Excited to get to the next round of new opportunities because they are seen as ‘steps’ along a pathway. They feel like the bigger the opportunity (problem) the better because that means a bigger step taken. With this outlook they welcome big challenges. They push ahead boldly, as though it were a sporting event in which the opportunities were the opponent.
The opportunity being the thing that must be overcome or conquered in order to move up to higher levels of competition. Thereby bringing higher levels of enjoyment. Enjoying the whole process the way one might enjoy a weekend hobby or the companionship of a loved one. These are the kinds of people who charge out of bed in the mornings because they see the upcoming day as another opportunity to be great.
Conversely there are those who don’t ever want there to be any problems (opportunities). Believing that problems are to be avoided at all costs. In the minds of these people problems are all bad. They see the very occurrence of opportunity as a problem. They get caught up believing that it’s the end of something rather than focusing on the new beginning that lies before them once the challenge is met. These are the people who never confront either themselves or others. They just accept. "Whatever works for you." "If that’s what you want."
These people don’t realize it but they are victims. Accepting what comes instead of actively going to where they want to be. Sometimes they see themselves as peacekeepers. Which is not a bad thing to be but peacemaking would be an even higher aspiration.
Peacemakers lean into conflict. Knowing the only true way to keep peace is by resolving issues through confronting them rather than not. Martin Luther King Jr. was a peacemaker. A peacemaker would rather go through instead of dancing around things. Jesus Christ was a peacemaker. They understand going through is conquering while dancing around is avoiding. Mohandas Gandhi was a peacemaker. Avoiding is putting things off until they are so big and painful that they become, well, unavoidable. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to stop avoiding things and deal with them. If things in your life aren’t the way you need them to be in order to feel what you need to feel check yourself. Are you resolving or avoiding?
And so the question, Which are you, a peacekeeper or a peacemaker? Do you see opportunities or do you only see problems? Are you busy keeping the peace, or are you actively confronting and resolving those issues in your life that are calling for resolution? How do you view the challenges you are currently facing, annoyances or welcomed opportunities?
Do you look forward to and welcome opportunities that challenge and grow you in the process? Have you accepted the fact that sometimes life is not comfortable but that "real life" happens in the midst of this discomfort? Are you content to accept what life dishes out or are you scratching and clawing in the trenches to pull from life and yourself the things you want and deserve?
Which is it going to be for you, Victim or Victor? The choice is all yours.
I offer these as my final thoughts on the subject:
Those of us who are crazy enough to think we can change the world, our world, are the one’s who will surely do it. If you want to make your world a better place in which to live, start by seizing the opportunities that are right now before you.
Make that telephone call…Write that letter…Confront that person…Then tell them you love them.Accept that setback and move on to the next battle…Share the gift of ‘you’ with somebody, anybody.Forgive…Forget…Do something… Do Anything!Live!!
Thanks for sharing your time with me. I welcome your thoughts, comments.
Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.
You are blessed.
Some people see problems as opportunities. Understanding that getting through each opportunity puts them closer to the next one. Kind of going through life with a stair step mentality. Excited to get to the next round of new opportunities because they are seen as ‘steps’ along a pathway. They feel like the bigger the opportunity (problem) the better because that means a bigger step taken. With this outlook they welcome big challenges. They push ahead boldly, as though it were a sporting event in which the opportunities were the opponent.
The opportunity being the thing that must be overcome or conquered in order to move up to higher levels of competition. Thereby bringing higher levels of enjoyment. Enjoying the whole process the way one might enjoy a weekend hobby or the companionship of a loved one. These are the kinds of people who charge out of bed in the mornings because they see the upcoming day as another opportunity to be great.
Conversely there are those who don’t ever want there to be any problems (opportunities). Believing that problems are to be avoided at all costs. In the minds of these people problems are all bad. They see the very occurrence of opportunity as a problem. They get caught up believing that it’s the end of something rather than focusing on the new beginning that lies before them once the challenge is met. These are the people who never confront either themselves or others. They just accept. "Whatever works for you." "If that’s what you want."
These people don’t realize it but they are victims. Accepting what comes instead of actively going to where they want to be. Sometimes they see themselves as peacekeepers. Which is not a bad thing to be but peacemaking would be an even higher aspiration.
Peacemakers lean into conflict. Knowing the only true way to keep peace is by resolving issues through confronting them rather than not. Martin Luther King Jr. was a peacemaker. A peacemaker would rather go through instead of dancing around things. Jesus Christ was a peacemaker. They understand going through is conquering while dancing around is avoiding. Mohandas Gandhi was a peacemaker. Avoiding is putting things off until they are so big and painful that they become, well, unavoidable. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to stop avoiding things and deal with them. If things in your life aren’t the way you need them to be in order to feel what you need to feel check yourself. Are you resolving or avoiding?
And so the question, Which are you, a peacekeeper or a peacemaker? Do you see opportunities or do you only see problems? Are you busy keeping the peace, or are you actively confronting and resolving those issues in your life that are calling for resolution? How do you view the challenges you are currently facing, annoyances or welcomed opportunities?
Do you look forward to and welcome opportunities that challenge and grow you in the process? Have you accepted the fact that sometimes life is not comfortable but that "real life" happens in the midst of this discomfort? Are you content to accept what life dishes out or are you scratching and clawing in the trenches to pull from life and yourself the things you want and deserve?
Which is it going to be for you, Victim or Victor? The choice is all yours.
I offer these as my final thoughts on the subject:
Those of us who are crazy enough to think we can change the world, our world, are the one’s who will surely do it. If you want to make your world a better place in which to live, start by seizing the opportunities that are right now before you.
Make that telephone call…Write that letter…Confront that person…Then tell them you love them.Accept that setback and move on to the next battle…Share the gift of ‘you’ with somebody, anybody.Forgive…Forget…Do something… Do Anything!Live!!
Thanks for sharing your time with me. I welcome your thoughts, comments.
Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.
You are blessed.
WHAT ARE YOU SEEING? PROBLEMS OR OPPORTUNITIES
As best I can tell here’s how it breaks down.
Some people see problems as opportunities. Understanding that getting through each opportunity puts them closer to the next one. Kind of going through life with a stair step mentality. Excited to get to the next round of new opportunities because they are seen as ‘steps’ along a pathway. They feel like the bigger the opportunity (problem) the better because that means a bigger step taken. With this outlook they welcome big challenges. They push ahead boldly, as though it were a sporting event in which the opportunities were the opponent.
The opportunity being the thing that must be overcome or conquered in order to move up to higher levels of competition. Thereby bringing higher levels of enjoyment. Enjoying the whole process the way one might enjoy a weekend hobby or the companionship of a loved one. These are the kinds of people who charge out of bed in the mornings because they see the upcoming day as another opportunity to be great.
Conversely there are those who don’t ever want there to be any problems (opportunities). Believing that problems are to be avoided at all costs. In the minds of these people problems are all bad. They see the very occurrence of opportunity as a problem. They get caught up believing that it’s the end of something rather than focusing on the new beginning that lies before them once the challenge is met. These are the people who never confront either themselves or others. They just accept. "Whatever works for you." "If that’s what you want."
These people don’t realize it but they are victims. Accepting what comes instead of actively going to where they want to be. Sometimes they see themselves as peacekeepers. Which is not a bad thing to be but peacemaking would be an even higher aspiration.
Peacemakers lean into conflict. Knowing the only true way to keep peace is by resolving issues through confronting them rather than not. Martin Luther King Jr. was a peacemaker. A peacemaker would rather go through instead of dancing around things. Jesus Christ was a peacemaker. They understand going through is conquering while dancing around is avoiding. Mohandas Gandhi was a peacemaker. Avoiding is putting things off until they are so big and painful that they become, well, unavoidable. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to stop avoiding things and deal with them. If things in your life aren’t the way you need them to be in order to feel what you need to feel check yourself. Are you resolving or avoiding?
And so the question, Which are you, a peacekeeper or a peacemaker? Do you see opportunities or do you only see problems? Are you busy keeping the peace, or are you actively confronting and resolving those issues in your life that are calling for resolution? How do you view the challenges you are currently facing, annoyances or welcomed opportunities?
Do you look forward to and welcome opportunities that challenge and grow you in the process? Have you accepted the fact that sometimes life is not comfortable but that "real life" happens in the midst of this discomfort? Are you content to accept what life dishes out or are you scratching and clawing in the trenches to pull from life and yourself the things you want and deserve?
Which is it going to be for you, Victim or Victor? The choice is all yours.
I offer these as my final thoughts on the subject:
Those of us who are crazy enough to think we can change the world, our world, are the one’s who will surely do it. If you want to make your world a better place in which to live, start by seizing the opportunities that are right now before you.
Make that telephone call…Write that letter…Confront that person…Then tell them you love them.Accept that setback and move on to the next battle…Share the gift of ‘you’ with somebody, anybody.Forgive…Forget…Do something… Do Anything!Live!!
Thanks for sharing your time with me. I welcome your thoughts, comments.
Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.
You are blessed.
Some people see problems as opportunities. Understanding that getting through each opportunity puts them closer to the next one. Kind of going through life with a stair step mentality. Excited to get to the next round of new opportunities because they are seen as ‘steps’ along a pathway. They feel like the bigger the opportunity (problem) the better because that means a bigger step taken. With this outlook they welcome big challenges. They push ahead boldly, as though it were a sporting event in which the opportunities were the opponent.
The opportunity being the thing that must be overcome or conquered in order to move up to higher levels of competition. Thereby bringing higher levels of enjoyment. Enjoying the whole process the way one might enjoy a weekend hobby or the companionship of a loved one. These are the kinds of people who charge out of bed in the mornings because they see the upcoming day as another opportunity to be great.
Conversely there are those who don’t ever want there to be any problems (opportunities). Believing that problems are to be avoided at all costs. In the minds of these people problems are all bad. They see the very occurrence of opportunity as a problem. They get caught up believing that it’s the end of something rather than focusing on the new beginning that lies before them once the challenge is met. These are the people who never confront either themselves or others. They just accept. "Whatever works for you." "If that’s what you want."
These people don’t realize it but they are victims. Accepting what comes instead of actively going to where they want to be. Sometimes they see themselves as peacekeepers. Which is not a bad thing to be but peacemaking would be an even higher aspiration.
Peacemakers lean into conflict. Knowing the only true way to keep peace is by resolving issues through confronting them rather than not. Martin Luther King Jr. was a peacemaker. A peacemaker would rather go through instead of dancing around things. Jesus Christ was a peacemaker. They understand going through is conquering while dancing around is avoiding. Mohandas Gandhi was a peacemaker. Avoiding is putting things off until they are so big and painful that they become, well, unavoidable. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to stop avoiding things and deal with them. If things in your life aren’t the way you need them to be in order to feel what you need to feel check yourself. Are you resolving or avoiding?
And so the question, Which are you, a peacekeeper or a peacemaker? Do you see opportunities or do you only see problems? Are you busy keeping the peace, or are you actively confronting and resolving those issues in your life that are calling for resolution? How do you view the challenges you are currently facing, annoyances or welcomed opportunities?
Do you look forward to and welcome opportunities that challenge and grow you in the process? Have you accepted the fact that sometimes life is not comfortable but that "real life" happens in the midst of this discomfort? Are you content to accept what life dishes out or are you scratching and clawing in the trenches to pull from life and yourself the things you want and deserve?
Which is it going to be for you, Victim or Victor? The choice is all yours.
I offer these as my final thoughts on the subject:
Those of us who are crazy enough to think we can change the world, our world, are the one’s who will surely do it. If you want to make your world a better place in which to live, start by seizing the opportunities that are right now before you.
Make that telephone call…Write that letter…Confront that person…Then tell them you love them.Accept that setback and move on to the next battle…Share the gift of ‘you’ with somebody, anybody.Forgive…Forget…Do something… Do Anything!Live!!
Thanks for sharing your time with me. I welcome your thoughts, comments.
Live some. Love some. Learn some. Everyday.
You are blessed.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
101 REASONS TO BE PROUD OF YOURSELF
When someone talks badly to you, what makes that ok? NOTHING! You are your most valuable resource, and how you value yourself will depend on how others see you as well.
Webster's defines the word resource as "something that lies ready for use or can be drawn upon for aid; a supply of something to take care of a need; wealth; assets, something that can be used for an advantage. Even if everything you had was taken away, you still have your mind, your ingenuity, your talents, and your creativity. YOU are your greatest resource.
Science has shown us that each of us has unique DNA, unique fingerprints, and unique body language. But have you also considered that each person also has a unique product inside of him? Your talents and your weaknesses are waiting for you to draw upon them. Your own "special blend" is something that can be used for an advantage.
Hiding inside you is an article or song only you can write, a tool or toy only you can invent, a picture only you can draw, a story only you can tell. Should you choose not to use that resource you will deprive not only yourself, but everyone in your world of your unique contribution.
Expectations are a part of the universe that make things happen, both negatively or positively. Like atomic particles, universal forces cannot be explained, but plugging into them creates some kind of energy.
You have the power to be creative and resourceful, or you also have the power to be miserable the rest of your life. You have that choice. You pick out an attitude just like you pick out clothes.
To transform your attitude and maintain positive actions, try the following things:
Don't expect it to happen overnight, but expect it to happen.
Align yourself with people who also have goals; they'll support and encourage you when you're tired and frustrated.
Step out of your comfort zone; do one thing different.
Operate from the standpoint "as if" it had already happened.
No, you can't simply "will" a goal to materialize, but you can make a commitment to do whatever it takes, including consistent exercise, setting time to clean up your environment, or investing your money in a program instead of buying a new outfit.
Positive thinking, positive expectations, visualization, and the power of attraction, while all valid and useful are passive. In the end, your success in life depends on what you do. No matter how positive your attitude, there is only one way to succeed, and that is in the active mode.
You can sit around and wait on FedX to drop off a big box of happiness on your doorstop if you want to. Nobody’s going to stop you. But I promise you, it’s not likely to happen anytime soon.
Or you can get up, create an action plan, and get on with your life. It's 100% up to you. There are 101 reasons to be proud to be YOU! Start your list today.
Webster's defines the word resource as "something that lies ready for use or can be drawn upon for aid; a supply of something to take care of a need; wealth; assets, something that can be used for an advantage. Even if everything you had was taken away, you still have your mind, your ingenuity, your talents, and your creativity. YOU are your greatest resource.
Science has shown us that each of us has unique DNA, unique fingerprints, and unique body language. But have you also considered that each person also has a unique product inside of him? Your talents and your weaknesses are waiting for you to draw upon them. Your own "special blend" is something that can be used for an advantage.
Hiding inside you is an article or song only you can write, a tool or toy only you can invent, a picture only you can draw, a story only you can tell. Should you choose not to use that resource you will deprive not only yourself, but everyone in your world of your unique contribution.
Expectations are a part of the universe that make things happen, both negatively or positively. Like atomic particles, universal forces cannot be explained, but plugging into them creates some kind of energy.
You have the power to be creative and resourceful, or you also have the power to be miserable the rest of your life. You have that choice. You pick out an attitude just like you pick out clothes.
To transform your attitude and maintain positive actions, try the following things:
Don't expect it to happen overnight, but expect it to happen.
Align yourself with people who also have goals; they'll support and encourage you when you're tired and frustrated.
Step out of your comfort zone; do one thing different.
Operate from the standpoint "as if" it had already happened.
No, you can't simply "will" a goal to materialize, but you can make a commitment to do whatever it takes, including consistent exercise, setting time to clean up your environment, or investing your money in a program instead of buying a new outfit.
Positive thinking, positive expectations, visualization, and the power of attraction, while all valid and useful are passive. In the end, your success in life depends on what you do. No matter how positive your attitude, there is only one way to succeed, and that is in the active mode.
You can sit around and wait on FedX to drop off a big box of happiness on your doorstop if you want to. Nobody’s going to stop you. But I promise you, it’s not likely to happen anytime soon.
Or you can get up, create an action plan, and get on with your life. It's 100% up to you. There are 101 reasons to be proud to be YOU! Start your list today.
Monday, January 21, 2008
5 STEPS TO SUCCESS
Below you’ll find a simple 5-step process to help you develop a clear vision and put it into action:
1) Know exactly what you want to accomplish. Rather than thinking about the perks and benefits that come along with success, focus instead on conceiving a PURPOSE. What do you want to accomplish? What is important to you? Why is it important?
Think about the qualities and skills you’d like to develop within yourself, and the types of goals that could help you do it. Be very specific! Write it down in minute detail.
2) Know the approximate timeline for completion. Realistically, how long should it take for your objective to be completed? Barring any unexpected delays, have a general idea of when you should reach your goal.
3) Have a list of clear action steps. Besides knowing exactly what you want to achieve, knowing exactly how you’ll do it is also vital. Think about the end result you want to create, and then consider exactly what you’d need to do in order to get from here to there. Write each step in order, and make a note of any possible obstacles you may face along with actions you could take to overcome them.
4) Have a solid plan for putting those steps into action. Will all of your action steps be undertaken at once? Or is there a clear progression that needs to be followed? If a delay or obstacle comes up, would that change the order of your action steps? Prepare and plan ahead as much as possible.
Then, make sure you put your plans into action, and keep them in action.
5) Finally, re-evaluate and readjust as necessary. Once you’re moving forward you’ll want to set aside some time to re-evaluate and readjust if circumstances have changed since you drew up your original plans. You can do this as frequently as needed in order to ensure you are staying on track.
With a clear vision a strong desire to achieve it and the above 5 steps to success, you’ll soon find that you’re on the fast track to success like never before!
See u at the top.
1) Know exactly what you want to accomplish. Rather than thinking about the perks and benefits that come along with success, focus instead on conceiving a PURPOSE. What do you want to accomplish? What is important to you? Why is it important?
Think about the qualities and skills you’d like to develop within yourself, and the types of goals that could help you do it. Be very specific! Write it down in minute detail.
2) Know the approximate timeline for completion. Realistically, how long should it take for your objective to be completed? Barring any unexpected delays, have a general idea of when you should reach your goal.
3) Have a list of clear action steps. Besides knowing exactly what you want to achieve, knowing exactly how you’ll do it is also vital. Think about the end result you want to create, and then consider exactly what you’d need to do in order to get from here to there. Write each step in order, and make a note of any possible obstacles you may face along with actions you could take to overcome them.
4) Have a solid plan for putting those steps into action. Will all of your action steps be undertaken at once? Or is there a clear progression that needs to be followed? If a delay or obstacle comes up, would that change the order of your action steps? Prepare and plan ahead as much as possible.
Then, make sure you put your plans into action, and keep them in action.
5) Finally, re-evaluate and readjust as necessary. Once you’re moving forward you’ll want to set aside some time to re-evaluate and readjust if circumstances have changed since you drew up your original plans. You can do this as frequently as needed in order to ensure you are staying on track.
With a clear vision a strong desire to achieve it and the above 5 steps to success, you’ll soon find that you’re on the fast track to success like never before!
See u at the top.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
3 KEYS TO GREATNESS
1.SETTING GOALS
I call it the view of the future, You need to pay the price for your future.Pay the price today to attain the rewars of tommorrow.You needs to set achievable goals for your life if you will be great in life.
2.PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
This is simply making consistent investments in your self-education and knowledge.Set a minimum amount of time to read books,listening to audio cassetes, attending seminars,keping a journal and spending time with other successfull people. Charles Tremendous says you will be in five years the sum total of the books you read and the people you are around.
3. FINANCIAL PLANNING
I call it 70/30 plan.After receiving your paycheck or paying yourself,simply set aside 10% for saving,10% for investing and 10% for giving and over time this will guarantee financial independence for you.
If a young person,or for that matter an adult focused on doing these three things over a long perod of time I believe they will be assured success.
To your success.
Olubunmi Filani.
I call it the view of the future, You need to pay the price for your future.Pay the price today to attain the rewars of tommorrow.You needs to set achievable goals for your life if you will be great in life.
2.PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
This is simply making consistent investments in your self-education and knowledge.Set a minimum amount of time to read books,listening to audio cassetes, attending seminars,keping a journal and spending time with other successfull people. Charles Tremendous says you will be in five years the sum total of the books you read and the people you are around.
3. FINANCIAL PLANNING
I call it 70/30 plan.After receiving your paycheck or paying yourself,simply set aside 10% for saving,10% for investing and 10% for giving and over time this will guarantee financial independence for you.
If a young person,or for that matter an adult focused on doing these three things over a long perod of time I believe they will be assured success.
To your success.
Olubunmi Filani.
Friday, January 4, 2008
THIS BLOG IS ALIVE
Hello,this blog is dedicated to the youths and is aimed at imparting Godly living into the youths and also making them to fear and obey God.
Make sure you check it often for materials,tips and instructions for raising Godly youths in our generation.
God bless you.
Olubunmi Filani.
Make sure you check it often for materials,tips and instructions for raising Godly youths in our generation.
God bless you.
Olubunmi Filani.
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